Remind Me Again

Epilogue

Epilogue: (Ivan’s POV)

“I always search for her, I always remember her. I carry the hope that someday she will remember me.”

~My name is Memory; Ann Brashares

November 08, 2012

I believe that humans are created by a higher power. I believe that among His creations people are created and blessed with intellect and emotional abilities so that we could reach out to one another. It’s the reason why no man’s an island. Of course, I mean, logically, this is not Life of Pi that an island is shaped into a lying human body.

Two months had tragically passed since the court had granted my release from (the) reform school. I was to go to “school” instead I was kicked out to reform school because of my unrighteous behaviors. But don’t get me wrong of my introduction which sits at the top of this paragraph you’re reading. I’ve spent two months of isolation and discipline in reform school but that didn’t make me into a Holy man now. I am still unholy. I cannot change the fact that I will always be immoral. But I did change—emotionally. I learned reason and somehow, yes, proper behavior. It’s an ironic thing to say that I didn’t change but I did changed. I know you’re confused. I am too actually—but not with my gender at least. Let’s just say that a part of me is still Ivan Patricks; the renowned bad boy of Solique town and at the same time, I am still Tamara’s Boy George; the one who she believes to be her angel (with a shot gun). But if there is one thing that remained in me for the past two months, that is Tamara. I’ve never completely forgotten about her. I tried but in the joking sense that if I try; it felt like forgetting how to breathe.

Two weeks after I was brought to reform school, Tam’s dad visited me. I was expecting him to give me a punch or anything that would make me feel his anger. I was prepared for the blow actually, when I saw him there standing in the visiting room. But instead, he moves towards me and pulls me in a tight hug. I didn’t know why he did that when he has every reason in the world to hate me. And yet he was here with me in his arms. I tap his shoulder as a sign of greeting when he pulled away from me. I wanted to ask about Tam but I decided not to. The convo had run just like in the movies: normal and dull. How are you? I’m fine. Do you do well in here? Yeah, sure.

“I came here to tell you that we’ve decided to adjourn the case.” He says and my eyebrows went up in questioning alarm.

“I don’t understand. You’re supposed to get mad at me.” I told him.

“We were shocked when we knew it was you, kid.” He says. The tranquility in his voice had made me relax somehow. “But shocking as it is, we didn’t judge you. Maybe you were capable of doing such things but we know you, kid. We know you love Tam.”

“Thank you.” I murmured as the sound of her name saddened me. “I still love Tam.”

He smiles softly. “I know you do. You gave up yourself to the authorities for her.”

“It was the right thing to do. I wanted to pay for what I did to her. It was my fault.” I told him, sadly. “You shouldn’t let me out of this.”

He places his hand on my shoulder. “It was an accident, kid. Let all bygones be bygones. We don’t hold a grudge on you.” the smile’s back on his face again. “And I can’t go home now and disappoint my daughter. Most especially when it’s her request to bail you out.”

It’s her request to bail you out.

Does Tam remember me? If she did, I’m sure that sooner or later she will still forget. That isn’t something new with Tam. Memories come and go with her. And when my release was granted by the court, I set out first to Tam’s house. But what welcomed me was her cold and empty room. No Tamara.