Indignant Heart

Chapter 8: Misery

I shouldn't have stepped foot in that place. I knew I didn't belong. I knew it from the very moment I opened those doors. Everyone in that damned place knew it.

My bed swallowed me whole.

The ride home...it wasn't so easy.

It doesn't get easier. It never will.

"Naomi!"

I groaned and flicked my lights off, twisting the lock on my door so he wouldn't barge in. Briefly after, the knob jiggled. "Naomi, open the door."

I refused. Nothing pleasant would come from it. He would only scold me about how disrespectful I was. I would only hear him go on and on about how his precious religion is life to him, is the very air he breathes. I'd rather live in my nightmares than have to listen to that.

And as if I jinxed it, living in my nightmares is precisely what happened that night.

It was unbearable, being back there again. But this time, there was no one to wake me up and end the torture. Henry didn't come to take me out of it. I only didn't realize that it was my own fault.

I screamed, I cried, I burst into flames, my brain exploded, my flesh boiled, and for a minute, it seemed like this was it. It was finally going to happen. It all seemed so real. I was going to die...

But of course, all dreams come to an end, including the bad ones.

I woke up the next morning with the sickest migraine. My throat was sore, my eyelids were swollen, and my body was numb.

"Naomi, open the door!"

The loud banging only fueled the pain in my brain, causing me to wince. I got up quickly and did as I was told.

"What is wrong with you? Do you know how worried you've made me!?" Henry roars as he charges at me like a bull to a red handkerchief. I stumble back onto my bed. He's been angry at me before. He's been enraged by my actions before. I was used to this, but it didn't mean that I wasn't mildly frightened each time.

"Why did you lock the door in your room? I was panicking! I didn't know what was going on with you! I didn't know if you were hurt! I was this close to breaking down the room door, Naomi! So close!" He emphasized, his orbs growing and shrinking to fit his words. I trembled. It was my fault. It always was. "You know how bad your nightmares are, and yet you continue to torture yourself by locking the room door while you're sleeping? How on earth will I help you then?! How Naomi?!" I cowered back again.

"That's it! The lock on your door is coming off." Henry huffs and flies out of the room without another word. I was taken aback. Usually, he would simmer down and apologize to me for getting out of hand, but this time, it was different. I enraged him till the very end.

I blinked at the door and couldn't say a word.

I skipped out on breakfast. It looked like Henry wasn't really in the mood for it either. It was best if we avoided each other, perhaps. I wanted to leave the house as soon as I could.

My eyes wandered as the garage door opened, and it was there, clear as day. It was almost impossible to ignore. I hated it. It caused so much suffering, so much pain. Why was it there again? Did I want it there? Did Henry? I can't even remember anymore.

My eyes blur and I lose it again. I'm back there like a fresh dream. I'm back there and we're screaming; I'm screaming. I'm the only one screaming.

It's staring me in the face, it's mocking me and I can't take it. I scream and howl in pain, like I'm dying.

"Naomi! Naomi!" Henry's arms wrap around me like a blanket, but I'm quick to push him away, forgetting that it was him. "Naomi, I'm here! I'm here." He soothes me, and I rapidly blink myself out of the vivid daydream.

"Henry! Henry she's—"

"Shhh... I know... I know." His arms embrace me tightly and I do the same. He's real. This is real. I cry into his shirt and clutch his arms in a painful grip. I didn't want to let go. I didn't want to go back to reality. But Henry let go.

He looked deeply into my eyes. "I'm here. I'm here." He stressed it to where I had to believe him.

It wouldn't get easier...It was hopeless.

~*~

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