madrid ✦ álvaro morata

lingering

his scent lingered around the house for maybe two more days after. i never opened the windows or the fans, because it would just blow his scent away.

he left a few of his shirts in addition to his youth atletico jersey, his getafe jersey, his real madrid b jersey and his first team jersey. of course, i had multiples of his real madrid ones. maybe he sprayed them all with his perfume before he left, and his side of our bed- which is now only my bed, too. either that or i can now suddenly pick out his scent now that it's lingering.

aside from his jerseys, he left one of the two shirts of his that i loved to wear. maybe he kept the other one to remind him of me from time to time, but that's hopeless dreaming.

all i've been doing these days is hopeless dreaming.

he won't come back for me in two days with a sudden change of heart no matter how much i dream it. he won't beg me to leave madrid, even if i hope he does. álvaro never wanted to take me away from madrid, because i was doing well in university and i wouldn't have done so well in italy where they spoke a whole different language. at the same time, i would never take away an opportunity as big as this for him. he'd get much more time on the field in juventus and football is his passion.

i noticed one thing missing from my walls yesterday. in my big, unorganised polaroid wall, i noticed a photo was gone. it was one of a pair of photos. the one he left was of us kissing in the same background as the other. the one he took was from our holiday in greece with raphaël and we were down at the beach. it was bright and the sea was the bluest both of us had ever seen. he told me my eyes were bluer, however. in just my bikini and him in his swim shorts, we were sat on the sand with him behind me. his hands were wrapped around my waist and his head craned around to look at me. i looked at him too.

he always said it was his favourite photo of us because we simply just looked in love. from our gazes, you could tell we loved each other more than anything in the world.

it'll be hard to forget that kind of love, especially the first love and first everything kind. i hope he won't forget too quickly either.

maybe i'll just linger.