Universal Displacement

Zipped Lips

What had happened to her? What had happened to her?

He was really asking her that? Right now? She'd only been awake for four days! Why would they try to force this out of her so soon; or at all? What had happened to "recovery time"? Were they getting in a twist just because she'd only eaten maybe one and a half full meals since she woke up? It had to be that. There was no way Tony could know about her sleepless nights. He left at night to get some rest of his own, and because she insisted on it. She knew he left.

"I- I just told you," she said. "I jumped universes over and over again."

Steve didn't look deterred by her answer, which made her feel like he had been expecting it, which made her supremely uncomfortable.

"I mean," he reiterated, "how did you get hurt."

She had to take a moment to breathe and fight back the snapping reply that came first to her lips. He thought he was helping, but it only felt like trapping her.

"Like I told Tony, when you zip across uni-"

"You know that Tony doesn't believe a word of that. Neither do the doctors, and neither do I. According to them, all those injuries originally occurred around the same time."

Sutton found that somehow her knees had been drawn up towards her chest and she sucked desperately at the inside of her bottom lip. He was being cruel to do this.

But not as cruel as she'd been.

"Doctors," she scoffed. "Look no offense to them, but I'm sure they haven't dealt with a situation like this before. There are...different variables."

He paused. Sutton kept sucking at her lower lip and couldn't look at him. He wouldn't understand, none of them would.

There was nothing to understand. She had done something terribly wrong, and now she just didn't want to say the words aloud. Because she was still a coward.

"Are you done deflecting now," he asked. "Because I can do this all day."

She hated that she was almost crying again.

"Listen, no one is trying to hurt you further; and no one wants to pressure you. But this is obviously affecting you enough to alter your behavior. And you can't go on not eating."

He didn't get it! They were all heroes! They all would have made the sacrifice!

"Can you just stop," she snapped loudly. "Can you just stop being nice? Because you'd regret it if you knew!"

Steve quieted like she asked and Sutton panted, her left hand gripping the sheets. What did he want to hear? That she had royally screwed up in an unforgivable way? That she had sold out an entire universe to save her own skin? That now every time she saw even just a flash of dark, slicked back hair she couldn't breathe?

He still hadn't moved. She wanted him to leave, not stare at her with an expression dangerously close to sympathy.

"You would all hate me if you knew what I did. You'd send me right back through that machine."

"No one hates you, Sutton. Did you see Tony? The guy looks like he almost needs to stay in here with you. He loves you."

"Right now he does."

She'd honestly been trying to forget all that had happened to cause the bruises and aches since she left Khan's grasp. But not what she'd done to Kirk and his crew. She owed it to them to remember.

"Who did it to you," Steve finally asked quietly.

Sutton clamped down on her lower lip and swallowed down the bile that tried to creep up.