Universal Displacement

Confessions and Ice Cream

 Sutton licked her bottom lip nervously as she settled on the couch. Tony had led her out of the lab into a sitting room, and she'd followed on shaking legs. As she'd suspected the other's had been causally loitering just before the lab doors and at least had the decency to look sheepish as Tony gestured for them to follow.

Now they were all seated in the lounge off the lab and Sutton was starting to feel the beginnings of regret. A small relief was that they at least weren't all lined up in front of her like this was an interrogation of sorts. Pepper and Tony sat on the couch with her, Pepper gripping Tony's hand, and Natasha and Steve sat in adjacent overstuffed chairs. Sutton curled up her legs underneath her and clenched her teeth behind her lips. They waited.

How did one even start explaining what she'd gone through? Her lips felt sealed together as her stomach churned again. She regretted even eating the eggs that morning. There was still time for her to back out, to backpedal and run and keep the truth all locked up for a time longer. She knew she could run out now and there'd be little they could do to stop her. They would probably even let her go. But what if she did that? What then?

She'd still be selfish. A coward. A liar, her mind supplied.

Nothing would change. And Tony had a point, although she hated it. She wasn't able to shove what had happened aside and ignore it. The truth of what happened was corroding her from the inside. It followed her like a shadow and chewed on her bones like rust on iron.

Sutton took a deep breath and let it shuddering out. She almost wished there was some sort of background music or television on. But that was just another distraction.

"I lied," she finally said. "Or, rather, I didn't tell you everything. But you probably already knew- anyway. I, um, I ended up one other place."

She took another deep, hitching breath and closed her eyes.

"After I left the Doctor, I woke up in a hospital. There were these holo screens and glowing lights and for a second I thought maybe- maybe I was back. But I wasn't. I-it, I was in Star Trek, on earth." She opened her eyes and forced out a dry laugh. "And it was great, because they don't use money, so I could eat whenever. But I-I made a really s-stupid mistake."

She saw his face in her mind and his name sat heavy on her tongue. At her hesitation, Tony reached over and squeezed her hand. Sutton shot him a dry smile before letting go and curling up a bit tighter on the couch.

"I was walking down the street when I saw... saw...Khan. And I didn't even think! I was just so surprised and scared, I just blurted out his name. I didn't think he'd hear me from that far! I just didn't think."

The room was quiet as Sutton attempted to maintain her breathing at an even level and not start stammering. Steve leaned over closer to Natasha and mouthed, "who?"

Natasha kept her voice low.

"Homicidal super soldier."

Steve paled slightly and nodded sharply.

Sutton decided she didn't need to get into details. A vague outline would be best, and would be faster. Given Tony's clenched jaw and distant gaze, details wouldn't help anyone. Least of all herself, if she were being honest.

"He found out I was different. He knew that I knew things."

Her voice cracked a little on the last word and she cleared her throat. When she spoke again her voice had shrunk even smaller than it was before.

"I didn't want to tell him anything. Obviously. Y-you know; I didn't even want to tell you guys anything. But, um. He- I, uh. Augh." She paused. "He... made me."