Distanced but Destined(A South African love story)

Chapter 19

I had my earphones on by now and was humming silently while peeling the paper off my cupcake. I've never really been fond of red velvet cupcakes but these tasted different. Its either Maria tried a new recipe or she didn't make them. While trying to figure out which was which, Andre tapped me on the shoulder. I could smell his cologne, which always smelled like heaven. I debated with myself, should I be mean or nice? I promised myself to be nice, but I always coughed out the wrong words when I was hurt inside. Maria described it as, sober thoughts. Talking about what hurts me deep inside, mistakenly. I slowly turned to face him smiling.

"Ms Sono. How do you do?" Why was he so formal. "Hi Andre. You don't have to be formal with me" he smiled. "I know that. How are you?" "Considering the fact that we're at my father's funeral, what do you think?" I closed my eyes for five seconds after that, I didn't mean to say that. And judging by Andre's facial expression, he knew I didn't mean that. "Are you stable enough for a conversation? I'm not going back to university for another week, we can talk some other time" I could feel my veins transporting blood faster than usual. "No. I'll do anything to avoid them cutting my hair. Its a full house, shall we go to my room?" From the corner of my eye, I could see Qhawe smiling as I led Andre up the stairs. I thought he'd follow us, but I guess he'll know what we were talking about soon.

"Please close the door behind you" I instructed before throwing myself on my bed. Andre closed the door and stood leaning on it. He looked down for a while, and when he finally did look up, his eyes were red with tears. His hand turned into a fist as he tried to prevent himself from crying. I watched in pain. It was like a scene from a soapie. "Andre, whats going on?" I stood up and moved a few steps closer to him. I didn't know if I should hug him or just watch him. "I didn't know. If I did, I would've been right by your side the whole time. This is such a mess" He scratched his head and looked away. I was slowly moving towards his direction, step by step. "What are you on about?" He had shed a few tears by now, he caught his breath and pulled me close to him. "Will you ever forgive me?" I stared deep into his eyes. "For what?" "Your coma. I didn't know you were in a coma, I thought you were ignoring me. I thought you chose him over me. For your father's death, if I had let you in, he'd still be alive" I stared at him, still. All I did was blink. Black tears were racing down my lips and all I did was blink. "I love you Nompilo. I've never felt so in love before, its driving me crazy. You've made so many sacrifices for me, lost a lot for me, please just let me love you" I was now shaking. He looked like he was hurting. I couldn't let him die inside for me. I moved closer, so close that I could feel his breath on my cheeks. He wiped my tears and stared back at me when he knew what I was about to do. "No. Not until you forgive me" he whispered. "Its been hard without you. I haven't had a shoulder to cry on. It was never him Andre, it was always you" "Then why did you push me away when you needed me most?" He asked. "Because that's who I am. I don't let people into my heart because I'm afraid of disappointment, afraid of heartbreak. Everyone leaves. Its either they die, or they leave" I couldn't control my tears now. "I promised I would never leave. All you had to do was trust me, you had to love me. Because Nompi, not a day goes by without me thinking about you. I see you everywhere, in everything, in everyone. I think about all the pain I've caused you, and it breaks my heart. I just want to see you smile, I want to hear you laugh" I looked away. He pulled me closer. "Tell me you don't love me, tell me you don't feel the same way and I'll leave you. I'll get out of your life. But if you tell me you love me, I promise to be here even when you break a nail" I laughed softly. "That's all I ever want to see, that's all I want to hear" He pulled me closer and kissed my wet lips gently. I closed my eyes, blocked my thoughts and tried to make this moment last forever. I knew more of these moments would come.

A knock on the door brought us back to reality. It was my aunt, Simosihle. "Nompilo, ugogo is looking for you, please come out" I opened the door just a little, so she wouldn't see Andre. "I can't cut my hair Auntie Smo. Not today. I still need to renew my wigs" She laughed. "I don't think that's why she's looking for you. She thinks unomuntu back in there, she said she saw you disappear with some boy" Qhawe sprung out of nowhere. "They were hard to find but I found them, thank goodness. Nawa lamakhekhe Nompi" "I think ubone uQhawe. Auntie Smo, I know how disrespectful it is to bring boys into my room, futhi ngaleskhathi, siqeda nok'beka ubaba" I could smell Andre's cologne, and I knew Aunt Smo could smell it but I was hoping she thought it was Qhawe's. "Okay. Ngizomtshela ke uMa ukuthi there's nothing to worry about" I let Qhawe in and locked the door, again. "Lay it on me" he placed the lemon cupcakes aside and sat on my couch, Andre was now lying on my bed. "Nothing happened Qhawe. Me and Andre have history and some unresolved issues" "Didn't we just resolve them? I love you and you love me too" Qhawe clapped his hands. "That's beautiful, manje tshela mina bhut'bae, do you have any friends?" Andre laughed. "They're straight" I said. "Straight until proven guilty. I would love to stay and chit chat, kodwa its getting late. Andre, take care of my doll. Wena Nompilo, ubaleke when they talk about cutting your hair. Ngizobuya ksasa and we'll go wig shopping" Qhawe kissed me on the cheek "Niwadle lama lemon cupcakes phela, I almost got into trouble for them. Don't do anything I wouldn't do" he smiled and locked the door on his way out. Me and Andre stared at each other and burst into laughter a few seconds later. "Where do you get friends like him?" "I don't know hey. But they're rare" He sat up and held my hand. "Speaking of rare, where's the squad?" I sighed loudly so he could hear that I didn't want to talk about them. "I could say you don't have to talk about them if you don't want to, but you need to get this off your chest" "I already did with Qhawe" Andre's smile changed my decision "But I'm not Qhawe. Look at me, if it still hurts you, tell me, we cry about it and I buy you a latte" I pouted my lips. "Nothing much happened Andre. I just haven't seen or heard from them since I got out of my coma. I don't even know if Nosipho gave birth or not" "And Percy, Teejay and Sizwe?" He asked. "Percy's out of the country, Teejay lost his grandmother and Sizwe is out there somewhere. I know more about their guys than them. Maybe Qhawe was right, maybe they are plastic friends" He squeezed my hand. "The biggest mistake you can ever make, is to let go of the ones who love you. They won't always come back like me" I scoffed. "That's just it. If they really love me, they'll come back. Like you did. But them, they're too caught up in their lives to care" "Maybe they're just having problems of their own. But I understand baby. Can I call you that?" My cheeks turned red as I looked down. "You can call me anything as long as you promise to make this moment last forever" "Abracadabra" he laughed. "I'll love you forever"

Translation

uGogo - Grandma
Nawa lamakhekhe Nompi - here are those cakes Nompi
Ubone - you saw
futhi ngaleskhathi, siqeda nok'beka ubaba - Especially at this time, after we've just buried my father
Ngizomtshela ke uma ukuthi - I'll tell mom then that
Manje tshela mina bhut'bae - tell me brother bae
Ubaleke - run away
Ngizobuya ksasa - I'll come back tomorrow
Niwadle lama lemon cupcakes - Eat these lemon cupcakes