The IRE of Winter

[ 15.3 ]

On the fourth day, morning started gloomy and sullen, I sneaked out the kitchen for a morning stroll and went to see Miraak. After changing my clothes and putting on my helm, we flew forth, chasing the cold wind blowing South and back. I felt empty and tired, eventhough I haven't done anything since last night.

'Strange, Skinchanger, your heart is beating weak,' Miraak knew how I felt, perhaps it also knew why. I didn't respond, for I knew I couldn't lie. I leaned more, almost embracing the dragon, I tightened my grip as we side-rolled right to follow the breeze.

'Is it true?' I asked after a moment of silence. 'That I might turn into a beast if I vaurg into a dragon, same as what I am doing now?'

'It is you who could answer your question, Sah...fih...rah. What makes you human? What makes you a dragon? If what drives your heart isn't pure, you'll find yourself trapped in a lifetime of darkness.'

'I feel like I'm not myself at times, clearly, I was not thinking thoughtfully, and look what I have done...I butchered two men.' A deep sigh escaped me as a reckon the day I murdered those men. Guilt still hunts me even on my wake.

"One must learn how to forgive, skinchanger. Forgive yourself. That is the first thing you should do to heal.

"You're right, I must forgive myself." I must stop blaming myself. What's done is done, I couldn't save them. Rumors could have spread for certain, and men from everywhere will come for a dragon hunt, especially those men from Dale. Aramis, I wonder how he would react if he discovers my secret.

'My eyes could not see but I could see what is in your heart --- you are worried of him. I should remind you, though vaurgs are one with anything that breathes, does not mean you can be with the one you want to be with. Life is but a dream, Sa...fih...rah... Wanting great things is good, but there are some things that are too great it is just impossible.'

'Things such as riding a dragon!'

'Yes,' Miraak said thoughtfully. 'If the dragon did not come out of hiding after the dwarves dared Moria more recently.'

'So you were afraid of the Dwarves?' I said thinking of the dragon Smaug and its shamefull demise in the hands of Bard. Miraak suddenly shifted sidewards and I almost lost my grip. 'Careful now, it was just joking!' I laughed.

We flew Northeast, towards Lake-town, but my mind was somewhere else.  I thought of heading North, to where Legolas was, but I fear that he would notice me, his eyesight was exemplary. Suddenly, I heard a noise, I decided to dive upon hearing a sharp sound, a dragon's hearing was as keen as it's sence of smell. 'What is that?' I murmured.

'Something very familiar...that is the sound of swords and squeals of hundred souls.'

We dove and flew below the clouds. On an open field, I saw a horde of Orcs battling with an outnumbered soldiers, the Bardings, men from Dale. I was certain, their armors were exactly the same as what I saw back in Lake-town. I felt a sudden tingling sensation, a strong urge to help. I saw men lying lifeless on the ground. My heart was pounding again, and before I could say anything, I led the dragon down the field and flew past them. 'There is no turning back on what you are about to do, Sah...fih..rah. I am yours to command.'

'I cannot hide forever,' I cried. The wind whistled in my ears, my hards were sweating.

And it happened so fast and I dove back and  flew over an army of  Orcs. My chest was burning as the dragon blew the fire out of its lungs, burning hundreds of orcs below us. Some part of the field suddenly flared up. Arrows and spears rained down upon us and I glided away, I climbed up and up as the dragon prepared for the next blow. Both the men and the orcs scrammed below, running away from the dragon's fire. We dove letting gravity carry us down, then the dragon spread its massive wings as it breathed  fire, burning everything below us.