TF2 Oneshots (plus koalas)

Beau Femme - Spy X Reader

The dress in the picture is from www.my-lolita-dress.com and you'll see where it comes in later. Enjoy mah koalas! Translations at the end!

~ Y/N's POV ~

I may be a girl, but I'm certainly not feminine. I have curves, but I don't accentuate them with flattering dresses or scooped necklines. From a young age, I replaced notions of love with the complexities of battle strategy, and set aside bubble wands for tasers.

Which is why I found my current situation so foreign. I'd been pursued by men, sure; but they always wanted me dead. I'd never found one who wanted to ask me out on a date.

"Shall I pick you up at seven?" The suave Frenchman straightened his tie and smoothed down his suit. In his other hand he held out a small bouquet of pink and white roses.

Scowling, I shoved past him and walked back onto the battlefield. "I don't even like flowers," I muttered. The poor man seemed slightly crestfallen; but he straightened himself up and followed me into the heat of battle.

"You're persistent, I'll give you that." I tasered the enemy scout as he ran past. "If you weren't on my team I would've sent you through respawn by now. Actually, I'm tempted to do it anyway."

"Ma petit, being sent through respawn by such a beau femme would be an honour." I rolled my eyes and shot down the enemy Soldier mid rocket-jump. "Most impressive," my unwanted companion said.

If only to shut him up, I relented. "Fine, seven it is. Just go away for the rest of the battle, and don't come anywhere near me until then." True to his word, the man bowed and set off in the direction of the enemy Intel.

* Timeskip brought to you by Jacksepticeye's beautiful accent *

I was on the phone to my mother at 6:30, just half an hour before my date was supposed to arrive. "Why didn't you call me earlier?" she shrieked, still not over the fact that not only had I been asked on a date, I'd accepted.

"Because I thought I knew how to prepare for a date!" I replied exasperatedly, laying out my only dress on my bed. It was the dress I'd worn to my school formal, but in this case it'd have to do. "What do I need to know, mum?" I hurried into the dress, putting her on speakerphone.

"Ask him about his interests, and compliment his suit. Don't order anything with fish or garlic, in case he kisses you. Oh and don't swear," she added on as an afterthought. "Abso-fucking-lutely," I muttered under my breath, quickly putting in my earrings and combing my hair, abruptly hanging up on my mother just as I heard a knock at the door.

"Why do we have to live in the same base," I thought frustratedly. "Impossible for the damn Spy to not be on time." When I opened the door he stood in front of me in his usual French glory, wearing a sophisticated fedora and his usual immaculate suit.

"You're late," I told him, even though he was actually five minutes early.
"A gentleman is never late," he mused. "Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." He smiled politely while he said this, but he had a strange look in his eyes.

~ Spy's POV ~

Mon dieu, I breathed as she appeared in the doorway. Her (h/l) (h/c) hair was lightly curled but sensually untidy, and she was wearing a stunning dark blue dress that went down to her knees, and was gathered in the waist. It had long modest white sleeves, and a pretty black hat. Overall she looked très belle, which contrasted with the tough mercenary look she was trying so hard to convey.

I held out the rose I had brought with me. A luscious red, it suited her. She uttered a gruff thanks as I tucked it behind her ear, and she gave me a cautious smile.

And that smile! Mon dieu, I murmured for a second time. I was lucky to have been accepted by such a beautè.

* Timeskip brought to you by 1am updates *

~ Y/N's POV ~

We'd ordered and been seated at our table for several minutes, and we'd managed to sit in a comfortable silence. Remembering my mother's advice, I blurted; "What are you interested in?"

He stopped to think for a moment. "Many things," he finally said. "I am particularly fond of music and dance."

"What sort of music? Pop, reggae, rock?" Spy laughed at that. "Non, mademoiselle. Classical, like Tchaikovsky and Mozart."

I furrowed my brow in thought. "My mother played a lot of that when I was little. My favourite is Pachelbel's Canon in D."

Spy seemed to be delighted, barely noticing the waiter bringing our food to the table. "I love that piece myself. I should have known it would appeal to such a l'ange." He chuckled and started to eat.

I started eating too, deep in thought. I imagined telling my best friend Sniper about this date tomorrow, and I could practically hear his surprise. "You dated the bloody Spook?!" He'd splutter, and the thought made me suppress a smile.

Suddenly Spy reached a hand to my chin and tilted my face upwards slightly. "What a beau smile," he murmured. "Fitting for mon ange." I blushed, but with his calm eyes intently looking at me, I couldn't hide my face. And the strange thing was, I didn't want to.

~ Spy's POV ~

After our meal, I led her to the ballroom floor for a dance to finish off the evening. Luckily for me she didn't notice the note I'd hastily slipped the waiter earlier...

I drew her into my arms, and waited for the song to start.

~ Y/N's POV ~

The slow cello began, and then the violin.

"Do you like it?" He asked as we moved in time to the music. "I love it!" I beamed at him uncharacteristically. He smiled back at me, and leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to my lips.

In that moment, I didn't care that I was dancing in the arms of my colleague. I didn't care that I had no experience whatsoever and he was a serial flirt. I didn't care if this was the only time I would experience this, and I didn't care if the dance lasted forever. The kiss ended as abruptly as it started, and I sighed in a quiet contentment.

He kissed my temple lightly and I leaned my head on his shoulder while we waltzed slowly to my favourite song, Pachelbel's Canon.

Translations:

Ma petit = my little (Note; it's a French term of endearment)
Beau femme = beautiful woman
Mon dieu = my god
Très belle = very beautiful
Beautè = beauty
L'ange = angel
Mon ange = my angel

Abbreviations:

(h/l) = hair length
(h/c) = hair colour