[Chapter Fifty-One]

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It makes me so happy to be able to update for you! So the bookstore on [ theprose.com/books ] is LAUNCHED! Which means that once i finish up some things, i will start the editing of Dominating Desires to be posted on there!

Enjoy this chapter, loves.

Chapter Fifty-One

"Schedule the first appointment you can and I'll go with you to the doctor so we can talk about what would be best for you and for our kids." Those were the first words I heard as soon as I walked In the house; he had been waiting for me to waddle in. I was nearing seven months pregnant now and when you're having twins you can go into labor at thirty-six weeks.

Maybe I was crazy for freaking out two months early, but I just wanted to have all the decisions made. The miscarriage is in the back of my head all the time and I don't want to be underprepared and scrambling to make decisions as I go into labor.

"Why the change of heart?" He stood and made his way to me, I didn't want to let him touch me but I needed it at the same time. There was a part of me that was still upset, a part of me who couldn't just let it go.

"Because you're right. Our babies, our call. It's just, I didn't want to make the wrong choice and have you screaming at me for it later. It's an important decision and I can't just be involved in the ones that I feel like being involved in." He ran his fingers through my hair and it calmed me.

We sat down and talked about it. There were so many cons for having a surgery instead, but with twins it could put them in distress if they're not in the right position to deliver. There is a lot of good that comes from having a vaginal childbirth; I was just scared. After what happened a couple years ago I didn't want to lose another baby.

"I'll make an appointment." Hopefully I could get in sooner rather than later. "And I'm sorry; I know you care. You love me and I know you love them too." He's been nothing but wonderful with my pregnancy and I needed to stop. Stop seeing it this negative light; we're happy, this was exactly what we wanted and now we have it.

"Listen, I know you want decisions to be made now; but we have time for this one. You're making yourself sick and the stress this is putting on you isn't good for you or the twins. Just let this one go for a few days and we can talk to a doctor as we make a decision." Easier said than done, but that did sound nice. The twins were active and every kick felt like it kicked the life out of me a little bit. Feeling them is wonderful; it's an indescribable experience that I love; it's just not as cute anymore.

My stomach is already bigger than Monica or Rochelle's were when they gave birth with just one and my doctor is already talking about bed rest. If I get put on bed rest I know Chase will enforce it and that I will have no choice. The pressure they're putting on my body is uncomfortable and exhausting. Sometimes it's hard to be happy when you're being kicked in the ribs from the inside.

"Okay; I'll try." And I would.

"Come on." He grabbed my hand and brought me to our bed. He carefully maneuvered me to sit down. My shirt came off first and he unclipped my bra, I wasn't sure if it was relieving or painful to let them just go natural. My shoes, more commonly called feet prisons, were removed. If I wasn't wearing sandals or flats Chase had to tie my shoes for me. My beach ball of a stomach didn't allow for me to bend much. My jeans that were starting to get tight again, went next. I couldn't even shave anymore; I had to go get waxed since I wasn't willing to let myself go that way.

Being with someone I was this comfortable with was relieving. There were days I felt like an unattractive and fat whale; but he didn't care. Chase loved me no matter my size, mood or insecurity level. He sat at the edge of the bed with a bottle of lotion and rubbed my feet.

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