Ashes ~ (a TenRose Fanfiction)

Stay

So this took 2 days to write.
Please don't stop reading after this chapter, more is to come, I promise.
I really am sorry.

~Chapter 20
-Rose's POV

***

The raft is complete. A sail made of giant leaves and wood for the pole, a tight wooden structure of base and curves edges like a boat, and all tied tightly with vines. We even shaped two giant pieces of wood into paddles. God knows how long we'll be on that thing, but I'm not ready. The Doctor leans back against the tree, admiring our work.
"That's sturdy all right" he says, sharing a glance with Justin, who just nods.
"But what if...there's a storm?" Albany asks.
"We'll be fine. We can get through anything" I say to her with false faith.
"It's got a god sail, and strong structure, we'll survive" Justin says.
"I've never been on a boat before" Albany says.
"I've never been in one like this" I say. There's a moment of silence and a long stare is exchanged between Justin and The Doctor.
"Ali, I'm going to start cooking the fish now, you coming?" Justin asks her. She nods and follows him back up the beach. As they're walking away Justin turns round just once to share another glance with the Doctor, before turning back round. I stop looking and finally turn back to the Doctor who is starting at me.
"What're those big sad eyes for?" I ask him. He sniffs a little and straightens up, wincing as he puts too much pressure on his left leg.
"I'm fine" he smiles "what about you?"
"I'm okay I guess...Just, I suppose you know how to sail? Because I don't" I half laugh. The Doctor smiles faintly.
"Afraid not, it's a skill I never acquired." he says. Just then he moves forward and pulls me into tight hug.
"What was that for?" I smile against him, adjusting myself so I don't hurt his wrist or leg.
"I just..." He pauses, then pulls back "I'll see you soon. I'm just gonna go fetch some water"
"But your leg-"
"I want to do something by myself. No matter how long it takes me" he says. I put myself in his shoes for a moment and picture what it would be like to not have moved for two weeks, and give in to him.
"Fine, but don't be long" I say. His warm brown eyes have faded, and the wrinkles around them express his exhaustion and tiredness.
"I'll try my best" he says, and then shares a last glance with me before heading off into the forest.

***

It's been two hours and there's no sign of The Doctor. I've questioned whether to go after him, but Justin seems to think differently.
"Just wait. He knows what he's doing" he says, trying to light the fire with two pieces of wood.
"When will he be back?" Albany asks, skipping up to stand beside me.
"Later I'd imagine" Justin flicks the pieces of wood together again, but no fake arises and the frustration is evident in his face.
"Can I just go and see? I mean, I'm just worried" I say. Justin looks up, his deep blue eyes instantly catching mine.
"He's fine, Rose." the way he says it almost convinces me.

***

But another hour later the sun is lowering slightly in the sky, and there's no sign of him.
"Right, I don't care what you think, I'm going after him" I say.
"Woah, woah" Justin grabs my shoulders and make way to move out the cave "How about I go? I mean, at least if something's wrong I can carry him back?" He has a point.
"Okay" I say after a few seconds silence, then sit myself back on the floor like a defeated primary school kid. I watch as Justin leaves the cave which has now become so familiar to us, it's slanted roof and dark stone, the small fire pit we created in the middle, the long piece of bark holding food at the far end, and the slightly curved wall on one side. Almost like...a home. Albany picks at a strand of her hair, examining the end of it closely.
"Want me to plait it?" I ask her. She looks up and nods.
"That would be great" her voice is quiet, and she comes to sit with her back to me. I grab a vine from the pile of the Doctor's leaves for his bandages, and snap it in half. Then I begin to plait her hair. It was something I'd been taught by mum, and had gotten quite good at over the years. But really I'm only doing it to take my mind off worrying about the Doctor.
"Ma used to plait my hair" Albany speaks up then. I slow my actions, and stop humming as I work.
"I'm sorry" I say.
"It's okay"
"Do you miss her?" I ask, mentally scolding myself for asking such an obvious question.
"I miss all of them. What about you?"
"Yeah, I miss mum" I say, and finish of her two plaits, tying the ends with the two vines. She sits back and faces me with a little crooked smile.
"Thanks" she says, then turns back to the fire, watching the bright flames dance around the broken wood, and cast flickering shadows on the walls.
"Want me to tell you a story?" I ask her. She turns back to me.
"Yes please" she smiles, her face illuminated in the orange glow. I come nearer to the fire and sit opposite her.
"This is the story of friendship, and the battle to survive. Two friends, best friends, actually, traveled the stars and all of time and space in a little blue box. They fought aliens, werewolves, giant bats and hideous monsters. But they'd visit beautiful planets with views like you'd never seen in your life. One view was the one that they remembered the most out of them all. The sky was purple and the grass was the colour of midnight. Their was lots of wind, but of they listened closely, they could hear music travelling inside it. It would curl round their faces and glide swiftly across their ears, filing them with song. And then the sky would grow deep purple and the grass would begin to glow. Beautiful creatures, sort of like fireflies, flew out of the grass and up into the air, filing the sky with glowing balls of gold and leaving shining dust to fall down to the floor in their wake. And the two of them forget about everything else. They forgot about home, and work, and survival...they just thought about living. And then after that planet, they returned to the doors of that little blue box, and they'd step inside for another adventure, and it would be even more dangerous than anything before." I finish there, and realise my eyes are beginning to shine with tears, so I blink a couple of times to make sure it's not noticeable. Albany's face is one so emerged in the story her eyes seemed compelled for more.
"Is there another adventure?" She asks.
"Only if they both survive. They can't have any more adventures without the other one" I say.
"Is that a true story?" She asks, looking at me for confirmation. I hesitate a second.
"Yes, yes it is" I say.

***

The moment is shattered.

A shouting Justin comes from down the beach, his face is one of horror and my heart drops a million miles.
"Come, quick!" He shouts. I jump up and run out of the cave, down onto the sand, and push myself through it all the way to Justin.
"What is it? What's wrong?" I ask quickly.
"It's the Doctor..." He says, but I'm already running.
We finally reach him. The first thing I know is I can no longer breathe properly, and my lungs seem to be failing to keep me stable. His body is on the floor by the lagoon, a cracked coconut by his side and a very wet surface underneath him.
"He says he slipped" Justin says quietly. "He's nearly gone" I shake my head, and try to slow my breathing as I run to him with heavy feet. I try to think about his regeneration energy, then I remembered suddenly..."one year".
"No." I choke out, kneeling beside him "Doctor..."
"Shh" he says quietly, his voice coarse and in pain. I look down at him, his left leg is twisted in the complete wrong way, and there's a large pool of scarlet underneath both his leg and head.
"No, no, you can't..." I say to him, and place a hand under his head, blocking the wound. Tears are beginning to fall so fast he's becoming blurred.
"Hey" he chokes "You'll be okay"
"No! Please, you can't-" and then I begin to sob, and the Doctor uses the last bit of his energy to lift a hand to my cheek.
"Don't cry. Please, Rose" He says. I hold myself close, not letting go of him. My tears fall onto him, merging with his own.
"I promised you my forever" I say, shaking with tears "Stay"
"I can't...Just..Just listen. Rose. I need to say...t-thank you"
"Doctor..." I choke on my tears, barely breathing. The world around my begins to slow, and everything I see is just him. "I love you"
A tiny smile appears at the corner of his mouth, a slightly up turned corner. I watch as a single tears rolls down his face, and then as if he were falling asleep, he slowly drifts away. I hold his body in my arms, shaking . This was never supposed to happen. It was always him, he lives on, not me. Tears fall so fast down my face, my heart pounding in my chest with such force I can't hear anything else around me.
"I'm so sorry" Justin says, and takes a step back. I start to hyperventilate, by breathing becoming rapid and quickly increasing.
"No" I say quietly at first, and then I swallow hard "No!" I practically scream now, and throw myself onto the Doctor. "No!"
"Rose, we can't-"
"I love him!" I shout through my tears, and bury myself onto his body, sobbing my heart out. Albany is crying behind me, but I can't go to her.

I can't see.
I can't breathe.

He's gone.