Ashes ~ (a TenRose Fanfiction)

Burning Up

Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes, I'm yet to read over this. Oh, and sorry for not updating in ages! Hope you enjoy this though!

Ella :))

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~Chapter 28
-Roses POV

I wake up and my first thought is that the Doctor is gone, and I can't help but have a horrible feeling inside that he's not coming back. I adjust my eyes to the dim light which is slowly brightening in the bedroom, before stepping out of bed. The loss of warmth hits me immediately, and I'm surprised at how cold the floor is beneath my feet. I run a hand through my tangled hair, and walk across the room to the door, before opening it and looking out to the corridor. The lights have dimmed, showing the TARDIS "human daylight hours" at night-time, and I don't see any sign if the Doctor. A tightening feeling begins to well up in my chest, a sort of constricting feeling pulling me out the room. I'm not sure where I'm going, but I know I just want to see the Doctor safe. My nightmares have been so clouded with nightmares and visions of loosing him, I can barely go without seeing him for more than an hour or so. I round a corner and enter the console room, but there's no sign of him.
My heart begins to beat a little faster, and I walk towards the library. When I don't find him there I check the kitchen, the bathroom, and the pool, but still nowhere to be seen. Suddenly coming up with an idea, I run back to the console room and towards the doors. I take a deep breath then open them, but I'm just greeted by the familiar colours of a distant Galaxy, completely lost in space. I sigh, taking in its beauty for a few more moments, before shutting the doors and turning back to the console. My heart is beating so fast now, where could he be? I walk back along the grating, and run down into the corridor, and find that a door is open at the bottom. I stop in my tracks a little, then walk slowly towards the door. I know where I'm heading, it's the med bay, a place I've been a fair few times after rough ordeals with planets and monsters. I feel the familiar hum the TARDIS begin to get louder, and the pull in my chest become stronger, as I reach the door, I push it open, and I see him straight away.
He's hunched over on the bed, and I notice the amount of sweat dripping from his forehead and onto his lap. I quietly step into the room, and he looks up as the pull in my chest gently fades away.
"Doctor" I practically choke out "what are you doing?" I see a syringe in his hands, the needle pointing directly to his skin on his left arm, and I begin to panic. "What's that?" I point to the green solution in the syringe, and look at his rolled up sleeves, pale face, and dripping sweat.
"It's...Just protocol" he stutters, and moves back the syringe, and carefully pushes the solution into his arm, causing his face to bawl up in pain. I run over to his side and press a hand to his forehead.
"Oh my god, you're burning up"
"I'm fine."
"Far from it" I say, feeling guilty for not noticing his illness earlier "when did this start?"
"Few days ago. Injections seem to-" he swallows hard "stop the pain" he winces and sits up a little, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand.
"But you were okay earlier" I say, frantically moving to the sink and rinsing a cloth with cold water.
"Rose, please, stop worrying. When I inject myself it goes within an hour, and then I'm stabilised for another...five hours"
"That's what you've been disappearing for recently in the day, isn't it? To keep yourself stable" I can't stop my voice shaking, and I move over to him with the cold cloth, and gently press it to his forehead. He closes his eyes slightly and then grabs one of my hands.
"It's just a side effect, from having the regeneration energy leave my body for- for so long, I'm just adjusting to...getting it back"
"Why didn't you tell me?" I dab the cloth to his forehead again, and lay a hand on his shoulder.
"Didn't want you to worry" he says, eventually finding my eyes. I look at him with concern, before taking the cloth away and pressing my hand to the back of his neck.
"You're not cooling down. And an hour to recover is a long time"
"I'll be fine. I've done this before"
"Yeah, only two times. And I doubt you did it very well" I place the cool cloth over my shoulder and start to unbutton his shirt.
"What're you doing?" He asks, looking at me a little unsteadily.
"Cooling you down, now stay still" I completely remove his shirt, an uncertain array of confidence taking over my actions. I motion for him to move back on the bed so his back is against the coolness of the wall. He does so, and I chuck the shirt across the room, before sitting up on the bed, and shuffling back to kneel beside him. I slowly dab the cloth on his chest, and watch as his eyes gently flutter closed.
"Will you be okay?" I ask, trying to stabilise my heart rate and slow my breathing.
"I'm always okay" he says, and I smile at him lightly, and decide not to confront him with the "it's okay to be not okay" thing now, and just let him rest.
"Is this cold enough?" I ask, and move it to his forehead again. He nods.
"Yes, thank you" he closes his eyes again, and leans his head back. I take a moment to admire the view before me. It's not often I get to see the Doctor without his suit jacket and shirt, so to see him so...bare, before me, it almost feels wrong. Sensing he knows I'm looking me I turn my attention back to the cloth, and begin to dab it on his chest yet again. He opens his eyes, and extends an arm, indicating for me to tuck in beside him.
"No. I can't. I'll make you even hotter-"
"It's fine, please. I just want to be next to you" he says a little desperately, and let's out a little sigh as I tuck myself in beside him, and place the cloth to his forehead once more.
"Is there something I should be doing? Anything I should be reading?"
"Just stay with me for now, I'll sort the rest out later" he says, looking up at me with a little light amongst the exhaustion in his eyes. His chin slowly tilts up, he presses his lips to mine. It's not long before he's sped up a little, his hands roaming up into my hair. I pull back.
"Not now, we can't. You need to rest" I place his hands back down on his lap, and take up the cloth once more.
"Rose Tyler, I'm pretty sure you'll be the death of me" he smiles. I swallow hard, and take the cloth away, trying to ignore the idea of loosing him again. "How come you were up anyway?"
"Couldn't sleep, that's all"
"Rose-"
"I'm fine" I say, and get up quickly, moving over to the sink where I rinse out the cloth once more. "I'm gonna go get some ice. Don't move"

I return five minutes later and the Doctor is sat up waiting, and doesn't seem to have got any better. I frantically hold the cloth into the icy water, then pull it back out to lay it on the Doctors forehead.
"Rassilon that's cold!" He exclaims, exerting a small shiver.
"Shh. You're acting like a child" I snap, then take the cloth away. "Lie down"
"Wha-"
"On your front, I'm gonna put this on your back" I say. He does as told, but with a great struggle. When he's finally down I lay the cloth along his back, and he lets out a sigh of relief.
"That's good" he murmurs quietly. I sigh inwardly at the fact I've got something right, and he's gonna get better. After a few more minutes he's still got his eyes closed, and seems to be resting peacefully, so I take a seat on the chair beside the bed, feeling overwhelmed and extremely tired. I feel my eyes begin to close, and I stop myself from drifting off by snapping my head back up.
"Rose." His voice cuts into the air "You need to sleep"
I shuffle around in the chair a bit, and try to make my eyes open wider "I'm not leaving you"
"You've done more than enough already, now it's your turn...to rest" he says in a low tone, obviously finding it tiring to speak.
"No. I'm gonna stay"
"Please, you'll be too tired otherwise"
"What if you need me? What if you over heat? Or you collapse, or-"
"I'll be fine" he says softly. I look at him for a long moments before coming up with an idea. I was not going to loose this battle. I walk briskly to the library and look behind the arm chair in the far corner, I take out the large pink blanket and grab a pillow from the sofa, then make my way back to the med bay. When I get there the Doctor has rolled over onto his back, and he peeks open an eye to look at me sidelong as I walk into the room. I go to the squishy geometric patterned zbed we picked up from an alien market, which looks strangely out of place with the rest of the room, and fold it out to its full length and place my pillow at the end, keeping the blanket tucked around me as I lie down. And I have to admit, it was strangely comfortable.
"Rose, you have a perfectly good bed just down the hall. A mattress of art, if you ask me." The Doctor comments. I know if he'd of been well he'd of babbled about the aliens that manufactured each individual part of the mattress for a solid 30 minutes.
"Yes, but you're not there, are you?" I say, and shuffle a little further down into the fluffy blanket.
"You do surprise me" he smiles and I feel a relief lifted from my shoulders at the sense of normality between us. Things have been so weird recently, so out of place and there's been a lot of uncertain moves and chaste kisses, I can't quiet make sense of anything. It's like we've taken a big step, but what to exactly? Where do we stand? But I can't bring myself to ask the question. The Doctor shuffles on his hospital-type bed, then comes to stillness.
"There's something on your mind"
"How do y'know that?" I say, just as he looks over at me.
"I can sense it. You're all uncomfortable and you're doing that thing with your hands" he says casually.
"What thing-?" I start to ask, and then see what he means. I've got one hand over the covers, and am sub-consciously tapping each finger to my thumb in an odd rhythm. "I didn't even know I did that" I stop immediately and shove my hand back under the covers.
"Oh, the sub-conscious mind" the Doctor smiles, then sighs, moving the cloth to his forehead. I'm about to reply, but the way his eyes fall shut tell me they may not be opening for quite a while. He looks less not and agitated, and now looking a little more at peace. I watch as he breathes slowly, the rise and fall of his bare chest I so rarely see, and I concentrate on the tiny things I've never got to see before. I let myself drift away unto the dark realms of sleep, knowing I will be haunted by nightmares of the Doctors death, and the island.