law & order one shots

Carisi Prompt

"our song came on and i needed to talk to you after hearing it."

...

You and Sonny had been apart for about 6 months  when he had stopped by your apartment in Manhattan, doing God knows what there. You had heard that he had moved there for a job, but assumed they were just rumours.

You heard the knock on your door loudly throughout the horribly empty place, jumping up from your spot in your bedroom and walking to the door slowly, letting nothing but an old Fordham law sweatshirt cover you. You kicked over your step-stool and looked up into the peep-hole, seeing a familiar lanky, blonde man at your door. You tumbled off your step-stool loudly, trying to catch your breath from the shock of seeing him as you stood back up.

You tried to unlock the door as quietly as possible, swinging it open ever so slightly, seeing as it was obviously raining. The soaking man turned to you, with a face filled with more sadness than you could ever imagine he could muster up.

For the longest time you both stared at each ther, too afraid to say anything. He began to shake, pulling his jacket around him. You began to feel chills as well, and he could tell by the way your legs were shaking. He gestured to your living room to let you know that you wanted to come inside, still too mesmerised by your presence to say anything. You locked the door after you ket him inside, and went to fine dry clothes for him, trying to keep your composure.

You brought out some old boxers and a t-shirt, handing them to him and letting him guide himself to the bathroom. You sat quietly on the couch contemplating the whole situation, and finally asking yourself why you let him into your house, changing into comfortable clothes in your bathroom.

He came out and creeped over to you, sitting down on the couch opposite to you. You knew that you looked small and pathetic with your legs tucked under themselves on the couch, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes, but you couldn't help it. He was looking at you just as sadly, just as lost, and it made you want to crumble.

His mouth opened slightly and twitched, you watched him think about his words.

"Our song came on, and I needed to talk to you after hearing it." His voice sounded so foreign to you now, but still like home. You hadn't realized how much you missed him until you heard it.

Your breathing had picked up as you thought about the morning you found out Sonny had left you. His voice had snapped you back into reality, as you realized he was probably still cold. "About what?" You stood to distract yourself, pulling the throw blanket from your couch and handing it to Sonny, who took it awkwardly.

"I think you know." His eyes followed you to where you followed the trail of rainwater Sonny brought in on your knees, sopping  it up with a hand towel. He had noticed you had suddenly become closed-off, like he didn't already know everything about you.

You felt his eyes on you and looked up at him from across the room, knowing that there was no way you could escape this conversation that you didn't want to have.

"Okay," you cleared your throat. "Do you have anything to say to me?" You saw his blush, his eyes somehow becoming more sad than they were before.

"I think you should go first." He looked down at his feet, expecting you to be angry with him, but you weren't. You were broken up, and at first, severely depressed.

After thinking for a long time, your mouth opened with what you apparently wanted to say more than you knew.

"You left me." You could hear your voice crack, and suddenly you felt so much smaller than normal. "I still can't believe it... I thought you were happy." You sniffed and wiped your tearing eyes, not wanting to cry in front of him.

His heart wrenched at the sight of you, falling apart on your own hardwood floor. All because of him, he had no idea, he never wanted to make you cry.

"Hey, doll," his eyes shut and he swallowed hardly. "I'm sorry." His voice cracked, too, as if he wasn't the one who left. "I didn't think this would happen, you should've been so happy." His hands reached up to tug through his hair, which you had just noticed was an unusual mess.

"How could I have been Sonny? You were my happiness, how could I be happy without you?" You were sobbing now, hoping he would look a you, notice how upset you were, but he just stared at the ceiling.

"You don't mean that, you can't. I wasn't around enough to be so much for you." He sounded like he had beating himself up for this over this past year, like he had thought about this as much as you had.

"What do you mean?" You looked at him in disbelief, shuffling over to him and placing a hand on knee.

"Exactly what I said. Do you think I left because I was unhappy? You were the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, but I couldn't have been for you, not when I was never around." He sniffed and looked down at you, your confused face.

"Are you saying you weren't enough for me? Sonny, that's... ridiculous. I loved you more than anything, I still do, I thought that you left simply because you didn't want me anymore," his eyebrows furrowed and a look of pain flashed across his face, he couldn't believe his ears.

"That's what you think? You think I just heard that song on the way to work this morning or some shit? No, doll, I've been thinking about what I was gonna say to you for almost a month now. I almost lost my job, my apartment, my life was almost over." He had to stop to catch his breath, tears finally spilling over his cheeks. You wanted to reach up and kiss them all away.

"I knew I would miss you, but not like this." He shook his head at himself. "And if I had known that you would miss me, I wouldn't have left." He chuckled to himself. "I guess I really fucked up, right?" His head now hung low in his hands.

You laughed a little, teary laugh to yourself and stroked his knee. "Yeah, you did. But I wanna forgive you." You snuck your hands up to his face and watched him comprehend your words, a sad smile breaking out on his face.

"Oh, baby." He pressed his lips to yours, savoring the familiar taste.

"Thank you so much. I'll never leave you again." He leaned into your hands, pressing soft kisses to your palms.

"I missed you, Sonny." You pressed your forehead against his, letting your eyes shut.

"I missed you, too, babydoll."