Wrong Number

Epilogue

The aroma of alcohol and cologne engulf my senses. Haley and Sean insisted we go out tonight after all, Sean never gets to visit with us - so he says.

I suppose it's true. Sean's never really had the time to come visit LA with us. I think he just prefers not to since it's usually just a me and Haley thing and he feels like a third wheel tagging along.

It's been about half a year now since my friendship with Luke has fizzled. I heard a group of girls at the coffeeshop playing their album a couple of days ago. Luke never really let me listen sort of made me promise but there's one song.

One that I'd never heard before - my knowledge of their songs being limited to strictly the few I got to hear at their show.

One about San Francisco.

I know it's not about me. It couldn't be. It was made before Luke's trip here and probably before we ever even met. However, its become my favorite, fitting perfectly with our perfect last few days together.

I'd never tell anyone this - especially Luke, but I like to imagine it was made for me.

For us.

I like to think, although we let whatever we were fall through the cracks, that he still feels the way I do. I never did get the chance to find out if the feeling of love was ever mutual and sometimes I picture myself seeing him again. What I'd say. What I'd do. How I'd feel.

There's so much I want to say to him. Nothing bad, all good. Like how much I miss his stupid late night calls waking me up because he's just finished a show and can't sleep.

How I think Taco is just settling for me while he waits patiently for Luke to come back. Which would lead the gateway to what I've been dying to tell him since the day he left.

That truth be told, I myself was waiting for him to come back. I will always be waiting for him to come back.

Months have passed and the longer we're apart the harder it gets to breathe. I'd tell him all that and tell him what I never told him but should have when I had the chance.

That I love him. I love him so much that it hurts. I'm just sorry I never realized it in time.

I look out across the sea of people. It's not cramped because this is a well known place in LA and only the best of the best get in. So I don't really know how we got in here. Haley just said she knew someone. Had some sort of connection. I assumed it was a security guard she probably flirted with to get us in but I didn't question it. Haley's always been Haley.

She mentioned a couple days ago that 5SOS had finished their tour finally. When I asked why she knew that she said she'd seen it somewhere on the internet.

I don't know why she mentioned it. Maybe she thought it'd spark something in me to reach out to him. But again, this was new-old me. I wasn't going to chase after some boy who had dropped me in a matter of seconds. No pun intended.

Subconsciously however, I think that is what started the thoughts of seeing him again. I swear I haven't slept in days. I'm constantly up thinking about his stupid blue eyes and the rough scruff on his chin.

About how badly I missed feeling his warm lips on mine and our hollowed promise of after tour.

How I'd probably throw myself at him and act like a fool if he was ever in the same room as me again.

The nights getting later and I start to feel the alcohol in my system. I don't usually like to drink. That's never been my thing. It still wasn't. Except that it's the only time I can pretend everything is fine and Luke's with me and nothing hurts.