Life After Losing You

Chapter 20: Stolen

EDITED: 7/12/15 ✓

Chapter 20: Stolen

I dug helplessly through my some-what organized closet as I tried to find some of my old clothes tucked away in unopened boxes. After much deliberation, I decided that I didn't want to wear my typical black attire tonight. So, after a lengthily search, I finally allowed a small smile to grace my lips as I tugged out a soft, white knee-length sweater dress.

For a moment, I simply sat on the floor and gently ran the pads of my fingertips across the light fabric. I remembered the outfit well since it had been the dress I'd worn on the last Christmas that I'd spent with Cal. Though it was simply a few pieces of soft cotton stitched together, it meant a great deal to me. It represented a time in my life when everything was simple – and joyful.

It took me a short while to breathe as I slowly pushed up off the floor and began shimmying out of my comfy sweats. On the surface, I of course wanted to look and feel beautiful tonight for my first official date with Matt. However, on a much deeper level, a small voice inside of me also held onto the frail hope that maybe this dress could bring on happy memories. Maybe... it could help me remember what it felt like to feel happy with Cal, instead of only focusing on the darkest and most painful parts of my memory.

Could the search for wholeness and happiness be as simple as making a choice? Choosing which memories to hold onto and which to... let go of? In a life full of uncertainties, I couldn't be completely sure. Still, it wouldn't hurt to try – I owed it to myself, and to Cal, to try.

* * *

I nervously hoped that I hadn't gone overkill on applying my perfume, as I quickly slipped on a pair of brown riding boots. Once fully dressed, I then quickly grabbed a long black coat and stuffed my slightly shivering arms through the sleeves. I wasn't particularly cold, but just anxious. Of course, it must seem silly of me for feeling unnerved by the night's upcoming events. However on the contrary, I blatantly realized not too long ago that tonight would be my first official date, ever.

I was about to embark on a high dive straight into the dating world. I wasn't sure what to expect or how to brush off the butterflies filling my empty stomach. I knew Matt, and he knew me just the same – or even more so after all of the underlying secrets that he'd uncovered. So... what was there to be nervous about? I couldn't say.

The single chime of my doorbell caused my heart to jump up into my throat. Without another moment to dwell, I spun and took a deep breath before unlocking and gently pulling open the front door.

My poor shy, vulnerable smile had only lasted a second before it completely slackened and turned into a small, O-shape. Matt stood before me, half hidden by the shadowy night but still clear due to the soft light shining from my entrance way. First and foremost, his glassy blue eyes shot straight through to my soul with unwavering attentiveness. I didn't know how I found the courage to break our sudden eye contact but, when I did, I almost groaned as I soaked in just how... well he cleaned up.

Sporting a pair of faded green kaki pants, a blue checked button down shirt and a cozy looking dark grey cable knit sweater, Matt looked like some sort of Calvin Kline model that had stepped fresh off a fall-collection runway. Also, his hair was nothing short of perfectly tussled as it swept slightly across his forehead due to the cool night breeze. He was painfully and effortlessly handsome in every sense of the word.

"You look really beautiful, Sophia," Matt smiled once I snapped my hypnotized gaze back toward his eyes. A wave of blush crept up my neck as I shrugged, still slightly dazed by his dazzling appearance.