Life After Losing You

Chapter 24: Ohio

EDITED: 7/23/15 ✓

Chapter 24: Ohio

The mauve, rose blended twilight sky looked incredibly picturesque as I watched the land bellow become clearer, just as the plane descended from the clouds. Matt held my hand and smoothed out gentle lines across the skin between my thumb and index finger.

I felt strange – teetering between feeling soothed to have Matt by my side and unnerved by his presence in the incoming place where depression had hit me harshest. I knew Matt had constantly reminded me that his devotion couldn't be wavered by one single experience but... those words were spoken on blissfully ignorant terms. As much as Matt may have gotten to know me as a person, he didn't necessarily get a chance to understand; to understand how I had grown to be the person that I am today.

And I was truly hoping Matt was ready and willing to step up to the plate when circumstances became... challenging.

"Please ensure your seat belts are fastened tightly to prepare for slight turbulence during our descend. Once again, thank you for choosing to fly with our airline," the stiff yet overtly cheery flight attendant waved and spoke into a headset microphone from the front of the plane.

Matt squeezed my hand and I dismissed my thoughts to completely focus on him. I was a little taken aback to notice his jaw taunt and forehead crumpled with discomfort.

"Matt, are you alright?" I asked gently, scooting myself closer toward him. Without looking toward me, Matt forced himself to smile slightly as he shrugged once.

"Taking off is manageable, but touching down always gets to me," he explained quietly. I raised my eyebrows in shock and mentally kicked myself for being so oblivious to his anxiety.

"You're scared of flying?" I probed, clasping his hand between both of mine.

"Slightly," Matt admitted bashfully. With a small dip of the plane, Matt's smile immediately faltered and his eyes scrunched closed. I quickly wracked my brain for a second to figure out a way to offer him comfort. God knows he's always managed to get me to forget my fears.

"Do you remember the first time we met?" I asked him gently, entwining his fingers with mine. Matt's small smile returned only for a moment before he sobered up and nodded. Another dip caused a vein in his neck to strain prominently.

"Course," he whispered tensely. I continued, hoping to somehow find a way to lure his thoughts away from the present.

"The first time I saw you I remember thinking just how incredible you looked. I had never experienced what it felt like to feel... captivated by another's presence. I was completely and utterly absorbed in everything you did," I laughed once, remembering the moment effortlessly. I knew it would be impossible to forget.

"Seriously?" Matt's eyes flashed open as he turned his head to look at me. I chewed my bottom lip and nodded reassuringly.

"It was the hardest thing in the world to try and act impassive to your little remarks and glances. Just when I thought I had you figured out, something new would throw me off track, reminding me that you were not easily dismissible – you were an exception to the lines I'd drawn between the rest of the world and myself."

"You're frighteningly good at hiding your feelings," Matt shook his head in disbelief. I leaned in closer and drew my hands up until they rested on his forearm.