The City (Joe Sugg/ ThatcherJoe Fanfiction)

Chapter 20

I storm over to my dresser and yank open the top drawer, digging out the small black and white box and flip it open. I shudder at the familiar feel of the cool metal blade between my fingers. I turn it over and over between my fingers, taking long, deep breaths.

Am I seriously going to do this? I can't. I have lasted so long without it. I will be letting myself down if I do.

I shuffle from foot to foot trying to make the decision. Just as I start to lower it to my skin I am interrupted by a knock at the door.

I jump and the blade slips out of my hand, clanging onto the hardwood floor. I drop to the floor and clumsily clamber for it. Shit, my finger. I gently suck on it as blood begins to surface.

"Riley?"

Joe's POV

"What are you doing?" I ask, crossing the room and kneeling at her side. I gently pull the finger down that she has in her mouth to examine it. "How di-" my eyes flicker to the small pencil sharpener blade lying on the floor in front of her.

No. No. No!

"Fucking hell Riley! Please say you didn't." my hands grip onto her forearm and flip it over revealing nothing but faint, old scars. I let out a brief sigh of relief as I pull her into my arms.

She resists for a moment, refusing my affection. Determined to stay angry at me. Can't say she doesn't try but eventually her arms find themselves wrapping around me. Pulling me as close as possible.

"I'm so sorry Riley. I should've told you."

"I'm sorry too. I overreacted."

"You have to promise me you won't even think about doing that again. Okay? I don't know what I would do if you did that because of me."

I couldn't live with myself.

She nods which brings me some kind of reassurance but I know that she cannot simply promise me that. It's an addiction. It's not something she can guarantee but I hope she will try.

"You're really going home on Monday?" she murmurs.

"Yeah, but I promise I will come and to visit on the weekends. And you're coming to stay at our place for Christmas next week. We can make it work." I assure her. We can.

I feel her smile against me. I can't see it because her face is nestled in my chest but I can feel it.

"We can make it work." she repeats.

"Zoe is completely blaming herself." I say with a slight chuckle. Even though I know it isn't entirely her fault she is partly to blame but if I had left it any later things could've been much worse.

Riley hits me lightly, "Don't be so insensitive! She's probably beating herself up about it." she says, wriggling free of my grip. "I'm just gonna go say bye to Tyler and Harry."

"Harry left."

"Shit. I don't blame him really. I swore at him, didn't I?"

I chuckle under my breath, "You were really fired up. I actually feel kind of sorry for him."

"Really? I thought you hated him."

"Well I don't really like him but I know how I'd feel if I found out that you were going out with him without actually being told." I admit, standing up and stuffing my hands deep into my pockets.

 "Aww, so you do have feelings!" she jokes as she pulls her jumper back on.

"Ha. Ha." I reply sarcastically. It's amazing how her mood can change so drastically in such a short amount of time. "Do you have a sticky plaster? For your finger." I ask.

She walks over to the dresser and grabs one. Holding it up, "Got one!" she announces with a laugh.

"Well done." I say sarcastically and hold my hand out for it.

"I'm pretty sure I can put a plaster on by myself. I'm not a baby." she says, a grin set on her face.

I pout and bat my eyelashes jokingly and she laughs before handing it over. I gently put it on her finger before planting a kiss on it.

"Oh look! It's miraculously healed! You kissed it better." Gosh. Does she ever stop being sarcastic?

I laugh. "Doctor Joe to the rescue."

She frowns slightly, her forehead creasing. "I think I hurt my lips too.."

I crack up, "Could you be any cheesier?"

She glowers up at me before a grin spreads across her face, "It'd b-" she cracks up before she even finishes.

"Are you seriously laughing at your own joke before saying it?" I exclaim, laughing at her.

"Just give me a second," she manages to choke out, attempting to compose herself. "Okay. I was going to say," she chuckles, "It'd be Gouda you to help me." she manages to spit out before bursting into fits of laughter.

My goodness. Is this girl seriously making cheese jokes? What a dork. My dork.

"Well I can't deny someone who has resorted to making cheesy cheese jokes, can I?" I say, pulling her close and planting a kiss on her lips.

A/N

You know I am bored when I start writing horrible jokes. Sorry about that :P I actually laughed at that joke for a good five minutes. Thought I was a right genius.

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