The City (Joe Sugg/ ThatcherJoe Fanfiction)

Chapter 37

Riley's POV

I gulp as I wait for Joe to answer my question.

He looks worried, scared even. Which makes me ten times worse.

Please say he isn't going to break up with me. I don't know what I would do.

"Joe? Answer me!" I say desperately and I can't help the tear that escapes and slides down my cheek.

"You're going to be so angry at me." he admits and my heart falls.

This is it. He's cutting me off. I don't understand. We were doing so well! Why now?

"Don't." I simply say as I drop down onto the bed, my head falling into the palms of my clammy hands.

As soon as Zoe pulled him aside at the airport I knew what was happening. She was telling him. Telling him how messed up I really am. And now he's decided that I'm too much to handle. Nothing I haven't had before.

Yet, it hurts more this time. 

I haven't even heard him say the words yet and I'm already breaking down.

Joe crosses over to me, hesitating before wrapping his arms around me.

"I'm sorry." he whispers, "I'm such an idiot."

He's such an idiot? What for?! For going out with me in the first place? For going with me halfway around the world? For letting me entertain the thought that I might actually be able to be happy?

"I shouldn't have read it."

Wait. What?

"I just- I was curious and it was there and I knew it was a bad idea but I couldn't prop-"

"What was just there?" I interrupt. Confused. I look up to meet his eyes, guilt playing on the surface of them.

His lip quivers as I stare at him while I wait for an answer.

"I-uh, your diary." he admits and a flush of relief takes over my body. My diary at the moment is good. No dark thoughts mostly thanks to Joe's presence in my life.

"And I saw the painting." he continues. There it goes, dropped my heart again. 

Shit. If he saw the painting that must mean he saw the book that I left with it and that is not good. It is as far from good as possible.

"What did you read?" I ask quietly, not sure if I actually want to hear his answer. This could still go the way I was expecting it to.

Joe sighs as he screws his face up in a painful expression. "Y-you tried to join him." he squeaks, this time the tears are his and not mine.

That was the one thing I had hoped he would never know. I was a totally different person a year ago. I would never think of doing that now.

I cup my hand over his cheek as I turn his gaze back to me. The pain in his eyes is heart wrenching.

"I'm not that person anymore Joe." I assure him, "I was in such a bad place but I am far more stable now. I have you. I would never think of doing that again."

I look back to Joe. He looks so different. This is the first time I've seen this side of him. He's always been happy, outgoing Joe or jealous, angry Joe. But never sensitive Joe. I love them all equally though.

"Who found you?" he asks bluntly, catching me off guard a little.

"Caden. That's why he's so protective of me. The other boys are too but he feels a bit more responsibility I guess." I reply.

"There's something else." Joe says. Here we go.

He pulls away from me and reaches into his pocket, pulling out his phone.

 "Zoe showed me this at the airport." he says, placing the phone in my hand. 

On the screen is a picture of us.

I frown, "I don't understand."

"Someone uploaded it and it's got quite a bit of attention."

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused. I look up to Joe who still wears his worried look.

"There are some.." he hesitates, trying to find the right word, "hurtful comments. About us."

"About me." I correct him. I knew this was going to happen. I mean, Joe is an incredibly good looking guy and so many girls want him and now that I have him their natural instinct is to hate me.

I can't help the tears that cloud my vision. All I want is a chance to be happy yet now I have to try and win over his fans. It's like a never ending cycle of trying to keep people on my side.

"Don't cry." Joe practically begs as he pulls me back into him. "Most of them are good I just don't want you to read the bad ones. Okay?"

I nod. I know he's right and I'm totally overreacting. Also, this damn jet lag does not help the situation whatsoever.

"It's okay really. Much better than what I thought was going to happen." I admit.

"What did you think was going to happen." he asks, holding me out a bit so he can see my reaction.

"I- uh, I thought you were going to dump me." I say, immediately feeling embarrassed as the blush creeps into my cheeks.

Joe's face softens, "Of course I wasn't. I don't ever want to let you go, love." he says, pulling me into his arms as he places a kiss atop my head.

I feel myself beginning to to relax until a thought occurs to me.

"Why the fuck were you in my studio?" I ask Joe angrily.

The worried look has returned to his face. "I was just looking around. I didn't know they were your paintings at first. I didn't mean to snoop. Not at first at least. Why didn't you tell me you paint?"

"I don't. They promised me they would throw them all out."

Of course they didn't. My parents never listen to anything I say.

"Why would you get rid of them? They are brilliant."

I shrug, "Too many memories I guess." I respond truthfully. Behind each of them is a story some of which I would not care to remember.

Joe sighs, "I understand." he says, getting up from the bed. "I'll leave you to get some sleep." he crosses over to the door.

"Wait!" I interrupt him and he turns back to me. "Stay?"

A/N

I don't know if I like this chapter guys.. Do you?

But, they are back in the UK!! Yay :D I think we will have some more 5SOS and 1D soon so double yay!! haha

Sooo.. As usual, let me know your opinion of the story so far and what you think might happen next..

Don't forget to hit the vote button if you enjoyed this chapter.

Also, I made a new twitter if you guys want to follow me. I follow everyone back <3 It's @JoeSuggsWifey

And last but not least, I love you all!! xx