The City (Joe Sugg/ ThatcherJoe Fanfiction)

Chapter 62

Riley's POV

I just cannot take it anymore.

As I sat on the floor in that filthy bathroom today all I could think about was how I have no direction in life. I have no idea what I am going to do. I know what I want to do, but that doesn't mean my future is set in stone. 

"Wait. What?" Joe asks, straightening up and staring at me. "You mean back to the UK, right? W-we can book a flight. I don't really feel like being here in LA anymore eith-"

I shake my head, "No Joe. New Zealand. I have to go home." I say, tucking the sheet under my arms and covering myself.

He shakes his head in response, getting up and pulling on his boxers. His hands run through his hair as he continues shaking his head. 

"I-I have a job in London, we have an apartment. We can't just move now."

I groan, "Joe! You don't get it. I mean me. I have to go home."

"Alone?" he asks, his eyes shooting back to me, glistening.

I nod, "I have to go back eventually. I can't live on my trust fund forever. I'm unqualified Joe. No one is going to hire a 17 year old artist without a degree."

"I- you don't need a job love. I'll support you."

I shake my head quickly, "No Joe. You can't."

"Well I can't live in that apartment without you!" he says, his voice raising as he tugs at his hair.

"You don't have to. Get ano-"

"We signed a fucking lease!" he interrupts me, "You can't just back out on me now. I thought you loved me. Forever and always, remember?"

His usually calm facade is crumbling in front of me, his muscles are taut and I can see the anger in his face. A stark contrast to the tears that roll down his flushed cheeks.

"You said you'd never leave." he splutters, his knees buckle and he falls to the ground.

"I'm not breaking up with you. And I sure as hell fucking love you." I assure him, resisting the urge to move over and comfort him. 

He looks up at me, his lip trembling. "Long distance doesn't work, we both know that."

"We don't know that." I murmur, "Not until we try."

He shakes his head, "I don't want to try. I want you to come back to the UK with me. I want to be with you."

I sigh, "I'm going to New Zealand Joe."

He frowns, "I'm coming with you then."

"You can't."

"You can't fucking push me away Riley! It's too late. We're in too deep to let go now. I would rather die than be without you."

I shake my head, "You don't mean that." I insist, tears brimming in my eyes. He can't say that. He knows it's one of the only things that would get me to do as he wants. It's not fair. That's almost as bad as threatening suicide and it hits me hard, I know that feeling all too well and I can't let him feel that. But I also can't rely on him to support me.

What if something went wrong? What if we did break up? I would have nothing.

I would have never thought about any of this a couple of months ago. But, mum called me last month, just before I was set to finish school and gave me an ultimatum.

She knew I didn't want to join the family business, she knew that I never planned on going back. And that's why she told me if I didn't go back I was on my own. 

No more trust fund, no back up plan. No chance to run back to them when my dream crumbles. Basically it was a choice between what I want and what they consider as 'good' for me.

When they paid for me to go to the UK. When they supported my life there I thought I had gained a bit of freedom. Really, I was under their control the entire time. A part of their cruel plan. A plan to show me that life on my own was not all it was cut out to be. A plan to show me that they are in control of my life, not me. I never have been and, if they get their way, I probably never will be. Joe was a flaw in their plan.

He showed me that freedom in a whole new light. I stopped relying on my parents and started leaning on him more. The only thing wrong with that is the insecurity of the relationship. Joe could leave me at any moment. Leave me in the dust. I know he would never do that to me, I think. But mum had me convinced he was capable of it. She chipped at my trust and it has gnawed at me ever since.

I need some sort of independence. I need my own identity. But I can't do that without sacrificing something.

The thing I haven't told Joe is that once I'm 18 I gain full control of my trust fund. The money becomes mine when that happens and I can break free and do as I please. Until then I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.

But, there is a light at the end of this 18 year long tunnel and I can almost see it. I'm almost there. A few more months and I'm free.

"That's a permanent solution for a temporary problem Joe. I'm just trying to implement a temporary fix for my temporary problem. I will be back."

"You can't guarantee that. You might find someone better." he murmurs, his face in his hands as he avoids looking at me.

I prepared myself for this. He doesn't understand. He can do whatever he likes, but me, well I'm still a child under my parents guardianship. They essentially have control over anything and everything I do.

"It's only half a year." 

He looks up, his cheeks are soaked. I didn't expect him to take it this hard. I don't know what I expected really.

"Half a year?"

I nod, "Until I'm 18. Then we can do whatever we want. And I want you Joe. Only you. You just need to know that I don't control this. It's out of my hands."

He sniffles and pulls himself off the floor, joining me on the bed.

"It isn't good bye sweetie. It's more of a see you later." I say as he reaches out to me.

I don't hesitate before letting him pull me into a tight hug.

He sighs before saying, "I can't guarantee that I'll stay away."

A/N

Now you know! haha

This is all part of a plan. Don't any of you worry your pretty little minds about it, okay?

You know how this goes by now; vote, comment, follow me etc.

Love you all!! xx