I wish I didn't //Shalaska

Back to Reality

Trigger warning- Mention of domestic abuse. Also Witney fluff.

Authors note- I'm currently sat outside on the cold floor waiting for Sharon and Alaska.

Willam's POV
The fags in the living area had been pissing me off so I walked into the tiny room, seeing Courtney hugging Alaska. "What the?" I asked before Courtney shushed me. Alaska turned around, black mascara trailing down her face. "Hey Willam." She said, trying to sound happy though her voice failed and sounded flat. "Do you have a charger?"
I felt nervous. "Uh... yeah. Me and Anthony have been hiding it from Courtney."
"I'm still here." Courtney yelled back with a sense of urgency.
"I need to text Sharon, can I borrow it?" Alaska asked.
"Sure."
I felt weird that I hid the charger from Courtney, she just likes her Burning Man experience to be authentic and you're not supposed to take phones. Anyway, who cares? We were travelling back tomorrow, so we'd have to wait for the battery pack to solar charge in the morning before Alaska could be happy.

Alaska's POV
I woke up super early, keeping the blinds open til sunrise to wake me up as soon as the battery pack would be able to charge. I left the trailer in my shirt and boxers and grabbed the charger. I sat on the step of the bus and waited, and waited and waited. My phone screen finally lit up and turned on. Thank God. Suddenly an alert for a show came up. "Sharon and Alaska- Milwaukee, 8/9/16." Oh FUCK. It was the 6th today. I composed a text back to Sharon, noticing how passive aggressive the last text I sent her was.
I lov-
No.
Sharon, I still mi-
No.
I wish I didn't-
No.
I miss you, Noodles x
Sent.
I really wish I didn't do a lot of things in our previous relationship. I wish I didn't overreact to her drinking. In the beginning, I wish I didn't fall so hard for her and I wish I payed real attention to someone other than Cocaine, Meth, Sativa and Indica (drugs not queens).

Sharon's POV
My phone buzzed.
Lasky 👽- I miss you, Noodles x
To be honest I didn't know how she meant she missed me but I knew I missed her too. I missed her goofiness. I missed holding her hand, her body close to mine, I missed kissing her lips. I missed her, fuck, I missed her. Satan, I wanted a second chance. I was usually low key about my feelings but not with her. I typed
I miss you alway-
No.
I still lo-
No.
I miss you too, babe-
No
I miss you too, Alaska.
Then I remembered.
We have a show together next week don't we? x
Next week was too late. I wanted Lasky now not Chad, who was still in my bed. I realised how stupid I was. I wish I didn't depend on alcohol so much. I wish I didn't impose the feelings I had for Alaska on to poor Chad, he didn't deserve this at all. I wish I didn't continue to depend on alcohol, I could have changed for her but mostly: I wish I didn't hit her.

Courtney's POV
As Alaska focused on Sharon, waiting by her phone for another text, Willam and I got time alone. She was nicer than usual, happy and cuddly cute. I don't know how she became like this. I wish I didn't wait until I was drunk to kiss her. I've had feelings for her for a long time and I don't feel like everything was epitomised in that one drunken kiss. It was apparent that she liked me too, last night when we left Alaska alone she apologised about bringing the portable charger because I like to enjoy the experience fully. Willam apologised. Also, she's been super cuddly all day. We let Anthony and his trade have one bed, Alaska took another and we shared. During the night she snuggled and put her arms around my waist. It was so cute.

Alaska's POV
I had to tell Sharon that I couldn't go on without her. I had to come clean. The next time my phone buzzed she said she missed me too and I felt warmth coursing through my body. I had to tell her.
Yeah. I have something to say to you x
Sent.
I patiently awaited this next reply. I needed to release all of the emotion that bubbled inside of me. My stomach flipped.

Sharon's POV
Alaska told me she had something to say to me. FUCK. I didn't know what it was but I hoped and prayed that it was that she was still in love with me. I wished with all my heart that I could turn back time or at least restart with no drugs and drink. Just Sharon and Alaska. Aaron and Justin. I hated that I had to wait to see her. She was just coming back from Burning Man with Willam and Courtney, both of whom didn't fully approve of me. I wanted to see her so I agreed to meet her, both of us out of drag, both of us fully engaged on each other's feelings.