The Worst Crown The Empire Fanfic Ever

Part 5

I woke up the next morning wearing my pajamas that exposed way too much skin.

My hair was already beautiful, because clearly straight hair is just the best.

Oh, and I was also next to Dave. Sure, we only knew each other for a day, but we were in love. So we slept together.

Also, both of us were completely calm about the fact Benn was dead. I almost forgot about it actually. Well, I did forget about it. Who's Benn?

I went downstairs to get breakfast. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention they all live in a mansion. Totally not suspicious.

I went into the kitchen, to find the most beautiful creation known to man, resting on the counter.

A pumpkin spice latte.

I sang a quick verse of a random opera song, then ran towards the glorious beverage. I was halfway through the drink when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see it was Brandon.

"Um, that was mine," he said, pointing to the drink as he gently stroked a bag of weed.

I felt threatened.

"Well it's MINE now, you worthless stuttering pothead," I growled.

Brandon immediately dropped his bag of weed and ran away crying.

I just shrugged. He probably hated me now, but I was far too attractive to hate.

Now that I was done with my typical white girl breakfast, and could go back and sleep again. The only problem was climbing those dreaded yet glorious mansion stairs.

I had to suck it up and climb the stairs, whining about it the entire way. I went to Dave's room, which we now shared, and opened the door.....

Only to see Andrew making out with Dave!

"YOU LOUSY HOMOSEXUALS!" I cried out, stomping my foot. They stopped making out, looking at me with horrified faces.

"Thank god you're here, Alix!" Dave said, flopping onto the bed dramatically. "This dirty Mexican forced himself on me!" He then grabbed the nearest pillow to cry into.

Andrew frowned, as if he knew Dave was lying. He then put his hands on his hips sassily. "You know that's not true," he said to Dave, who was still clinging to his pillow.

"Well, I don't care if it's true or not!" I exclaimed. Wow, I'd make a nice judge. "You were making out with my boyfriend! I want you out!"

I had just demanded Andy leave the house, even though it was his house.

"You can't make me leave, this is my house," he said, sassily again, though that's usually Dave's job. "Now, if you excuse me, I'll be getting my beauty sleep." He was suddenly concerned about beauty.

He walked out the door, and desperate to roast someone, I shouted out, "BOI THEN YOU NEED TO HIBERNATE."

"ROASTED!" Hayden shouted from downstairs. You could hear Brandon's faint sobs in the background.

Brent probably had an infection in his leg, but I didn't care because it wasn't important to me at the moment.

I made my way to the edge of the bed, where Dave was. "Are you okay?" I asked, even though he clearly wasn't.

He lifted his head, and seemed perfectly fine. "Yeah, that was just a stunt to get you to notice me more," he admitted.

Even though he just fooled me into hating Andrew, I still love him. I went in for a hug, which ended up being very awkward.

We had a few moments of peace, before we heard someone shouting downstairs. But of course, living in such a huge mansion, it was kinda hard to hear.

"HE'S GONE!"

I went down the stairs, in no hurry at all since it was probably someone less relevant than Dave.

Dave and I reached the bottom of the stairs, to discover Andrew, Brandon and Hayden all in a state of panic.

"What's going on?" I asked, even though everyone already knew the answer to that question.

"It's Brent," Andrew said, "he's gone!"