The Worst Crown The Empire Fanfic Ever

Part 7

I woke up in a jail cell, alone. I immediately screamed, because for once, Dave wasn't within fifty feet of me.

"Boi wtf why are you screaming," The Raven asked, peeking through my cell bars.

"Because I can, you bird-impersonating fool!" I cried out, throwing a shoe at him.

"Lmao women smh," The Raven said. He then rode away on his segway, leaving me resting on the room-temperature floor.

Suddenly, he returned, appearing in front of me once again. "Oh yea I gotta torture you," The Raven reminded me, "see you soon." He rode away once again.

I shrieked, terrified at what a man in a bird suit could possibly do.

"Alix!" I heard Dave call out. I immediately darted to the cell bars, peering out to see him. He could have been there, or maybe I inhaled too much of Brandon's weed and was hearing things.

Just as I thought that, two bird dudes passed, carrying Dave in their arms. "Alix!" He said again, magically sliding out of the bird's arms. We hugged passionately through the cell bars.

"Oh my god, keep your clothes on," Andrew said, as he was dragged away by the bird men.

"Tell that to your girlfriend," The Raven retorted.

I didn't care for their comments. I cared to touch Dave's beautiful mayonnaise-colored skin.

"JESUS!" A Scarecrow said as they walked by, waving a bible. They carried Brent with them, who was somehow still clinging to his alcohol.

"Omg this is quite entertaining," The Raven commented, parking his segway in front of the cell. "But I really need to continue my grapefruit cleanse. TO THEIR DOOM!"

Dave was then ripped away from me dramatically, almost in slow motion. "I'll always love you, even though I haven't known you for even a week!" I shouted. My cell was openned, and a Scarecrow began dragging me away.

The Raven was now playing a violin to a sad tune to set the mood.

I was then yanked into darkness. Well actually, I was yanked into a dimly lit hall.

It smelled like death, or the state of Florida. They're virtually the same actually. And the author is a resident of Florida so you cannot attack him for that comment.

I was then pulled into a sad-looking room, my gorgeous hair flowing behind me. I gasped for dramatic effect.

"OH MY GOD DON'T HURT ME!" I yelled, though the guard wasn't even near me.

He just shrugged. "Well I gotta torture you now," he admitted, pulling a suspicious looking pencil from his pocket. Seriously, it was intimidating.

"WAIT!" A familiar voice yelled. I would know that voice anywhere. It was Dave! Suddenly, the body of the voice barged into the room, and I saw it was actually Brandon.

"Oh," I said, becoming disappointed. But, just as my spirits were low, Dave entered the room. "ALIX!" He shouted, as we embraced.

"Well it didn't say anything about this in my training manual," the Scarecrow commented.

Suddenly, Hayden and Brent busted through the wall, and Andrew lowered down from the ceiling. "We've escaped!" Brent declared, loud enough for the entire building to hear us. It totally wasn't a safety hazard.

"Time to die, feathered fool!" Andrew said, waving a pool noodle at the Scarecrow. The young guard cried out in fear. "My weakness!" He yelled, crouching down in pain.

"Their only weakness is a pool noodle?" I noticed. I then yanked the pool noodle from Andy and bopped the Scarecrow over the head with it. He fell dead at my feet.

"Um, we just killed a government worker," Brandon pointed out. "We should probably, you know, run."

But of course, it's a rule of fanfic to never run, because that would be too predictable.

"You should have run a long time ago!" The Raven shouted, suddenly appearing behind us. We all gasped in surprise, before all being knocked out simultaneously.