Dizzy to the Point of Exhaustion

Last Year

I know this isn't a poem but when I reread this I felt so much relief that I no longer feel this way.

I miss her.

I miss having a safe havean. I miss having home cooked meals. I miss having my mom.

I'm depressed. I promised myself that I would never be one of those kids. Never be the one to understand why someone could even think to end it all.

End it all for what? Peace, rest or just a simple ending. Now I am one of those kids.

I don't really have any reason for it. I just don't enjoy life as much as I probably should.

I have looked up depression and I literally laughed so hard when I saw I have more than half of the symtoms. It's halarious.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal.

At least not yet.

I just think of what it would be like. My funeral. My passing.

My lack of being.

It's even more depressing to know that I'm in the high age percentage for depression. So I'm pretty much an estimated risk. I'm mainstream even in depression.

My death could be a pop song