Disenchanted {Gerard Way}

Gerard

"I still don't bloody understand how I got a fucking detention." Ivy sighs, inhaling her cigarette.

"You didn't do anything."

"exactly." She says as she breathes out the toxic smoke. 

"Don't listen to what that dude said, he's full of shit."

" Nah I'm used to it." She mumbles."Just another fucked up kid that doesn't fit."

"Nothing wrong with being fucked up. I'm just as fucked up as you Ivy."

She gives me a stare. "Gerard, you're not fucked up."

"Well if i'm not then what am I? I'm not special, or unique, our views aren't mainstream, there the rebellion against it. There's honestly nothing wrong with being fucked up, because if you think of it my way, we're both as fucked up as each other." I snap, rummaging through my bag to find the brown paper bag, containing an unopened bottle of whiskey. I take off the cap, take a swig and offer one to her. She stares into my green eyes as I stare in to her multi blue orbs.

"You brought this to school?"

"Yes. It takes the bullshit of life away."

She rolls her eyes and takes the bottle into her warm soft hand, takes a deep breath, looks at the bottle before taking a huge swig and putting the cigarette back between her lips.

"Let's get outta here." She groans, standing up and I follow her back across the field.

"where are we going?" I ask, " I can't go home, my mum will be pissed at me for skipping."

"i just need to let off some steam." She tells me."Let's go to the park."

The two of us walked to the park together, the two of us binging  on cigarettes. I had a feeling something was wrong with ivy, ever since the drama in second period, she's become quiet and looks like she could have a breakdown at any moment. We find a park bench in the isolated park and sit down. I watch as she rummages through her bag for a bottle of pills. 

"You alright?" I ask her as she takes two and downs it with the bottle of water in her school bag.

"I'm alright. Could be better could be worse." She says as I watch her fingers pull the sleeves further down her hand.

"Y'know, it is okay to say that you're not okay."

she nods. " It's just I have so much to fight against all at once." She cracks as a tear rolls down her cheek and I put my arm around her.

"Look, Ivy, I don't what the hell is happening in your life because I only met you yesterday but i promise you, that all you need to do is keep fighting and never let it take you alive."

"I-I need another drink, please." She stutters as i get the bottle from my bag and pass it to her.

She whispers thank you and begins drinking from the bottle of whiskey.

"You haven't seen the worst of me when i have a mental brake down, trust me." She says as she passes the bottle back to me and I take a short swig. " If you think that was just that word that I have to put up with , you're wrong. The list of names the call me is endless."

"Don't listen to them, they're all full of shit." I say as I light another cigarette.

"It's just hard though."

"I understand. I got called names at my old school."

"What did they call you?"

"A piece of shit, fat, ugly, looser, fag, pig, weirdo, the list is endless."

"Gerard, I'm sorry-" 

"No its fine." I say as i take a swig from the bottle.

" I didn't know they hurt you."

"That's not everything, I used to get beaten up a lot, i'd come home covered in bruises, black eyes, sometimes it made me bleed."

"I get beaten up sometimes." She sighs, "It sucks so bad. Not only is it fucking painful but, I just feel so humiliated." 

"Same. You just feel so bloody worthless and weak and all the people watching and clapping and cheering make you feel like trash."

"It brought my self confidence and self esteem down to rock bottom."

"It did that to me too, except that it was also to do with lots of other stuff such as my mental health problems, the bullying at school, my weight issue, the list is endless. Y'know I used to walk into the shit hole everyday thinking that it'll get better, that someone will stick up for me, that I won't be called names, that maybe it would stop, and not ever happen again. But it got worse. I could no longer spend time with my only friend who dropped out and is now somewhere on a stage in Europe, performing to hundreds of people in a band called Leathermouth, My Mum and sister treat me like shit, My Father, the only person who cared for me ended his life because he couldn't put up with my mum's bullshit, as well as him going complete bankrupt after mum spent all his money on a weekend in Vegas, where she also met another man and had an affair, she's now off somewhere in jersey in a red light district while my sister whines about not being able to get tickets to see Britney spears while also sucking off every guy in her school that's on a sport team!" She vents, now breathing heavily and rummaging through her bag for a different bottle of pills.

She's having a panic attack.

"I'll get them, count to three." I tell her as I rummage through her bag and find several bottles of pills. Xanax, antidepressants and Valium. shit.

"Ivy, which ones do you take?"

"The Valium" she says as she tries to calm her breathing.

I put one in her hand and give her the bottle of water. She takes them and slowly begins to calm.

"You alright?" I ask her as I hold her hand. She nods as she catches her breath.

"Thank you Gerard." she says

"It's okay, do you need anything?" I ask her. 

She nods. 

"Just a hug."

So i pull her body into my arms and we hugged for what felt like an eternity. 

"A bit longer." She mumbles before pulling away.

"You okay now?" I ask her.

"Yeah. Thank you so much."

"It's okay. What do you wanna do? I need to kill 3 hours."

"We could go back to my house." She suggests. " And cook some Mac and cheese."

"Yeah, that sounds good." I say.

"Sweet, we'll head there now." She says as we both get up from the park bench and walk to her place.