Disenchanted {Gerard Way}

Gerard

I arrive home and walk through the door, my mum and mikey sitting at the kitchen table both drinking coffee and snacking on chocolate chip cookies.

"Hey mum, hey mikey." I say as I close the door behind me, and begin walking to my room.

"Gerard come back here. I need to talk to you." Mum says as i stop and turn around, walking back to the table as I give Mikey a death glare.

that stuck up little shit. I thought.

"What's this about you skipping class and getting into fights and school that I've been hearing about?"

"It's nothing really." I say sarcastically.

"Nothing really!?" She yells. " Gerard you've been there for two days, manged to skip several classes, get in a fight and ditch school for more than half a day!"

"Well maybe I don't want to fucking be here!" I yell.

"Gerard, what has gotten into you!?" She yells back. " and don't even bother trying to hide the fact that you've slept with some girl!"

"I haven't slept with her!" I yell. " Fuck i haven't  even laid my bloody hands on the poor girl and you think I've fucked her!? Where the fuck did you get that from?" 

My eyes turn to mikey, who had vanished from the kitchen and was now in his room.

That son of a bitch.

"That little shit." I mumble and rush upstairs to  mikey's room.

"You fucking asshole!" I yell and pin him up against the wall, he was tall and scrawny compared to me so he couldn't stand a chance. " Why did you tell mum I fucked her?! i haven't even kissed her!"

"I'm sorry, I was just assuming since you guys walked out of the bush together."

"Yeah, assuming. You need to learn not to poke your nose into other people's business, now because of you, mum thinks I'm fucking psycho."

"Well maybe its because you need to get over the past and look into the future. I know you've been through a lot but you need to get over it."

"It's not that fucking easy when it haunts you all the fucking time is it!?" I say and storm into my room, chuck on an iron maiden record, lock my door, chuck my bag in the corner of my room and pull out the box of self destruction from under the bed. pack of smokes, flask of whiskey, numerous pills and blades.

I sit on the edge of the bed popping pills and drowning them in alcohol, smoked the rest of the packet (There was 3 left) and my shaking hands made there way to the blades. 

I stand up.

I undo my belt buckle and my jeans and the drop to my knees. I catch my reflection in the half smashed mirror, the cuts on my thighs still raw from the early hours of yesterday morning. 

My hands guided towards my skin, the blade held on my fingertips which would soon be covered in my blood. I wince as i draw numerous lines and got a thrill out of feeling the warm red liquid drip down my leg.

When i finished, I chucked everything back in the box and shove it back under my bed.

"I better clean this up." I sigh to myself and i grab the bloody rag from my drawer and stopped the bleeding by holding it against my wounds.

It hurt for sure, yet it took away the anger and the pain, by bringing myself a different type of pain. 

The pain of self destruction. 

I pull my jeans back up and did them up, grabbed my leather and headed out as if nothing had happened. 

I walk down past the shops, right now i could do with some beer, even though all i had was a few bucks on me. Some cigarettes would be good too.

With not having enough money on me to even afford half a case of beer and half a box of cigarettes, I managed to steal them both piece of piss before walking down the street to the park.

I choose a spot under a tree, crack open a can from the box of 12 and light a smoke.

I remembered Ivy again for a second and the way her sister was treating her. I felt like shit for having to leave her like that and seeing her in that state.

I pick my phone out of my pocket and text her.

You alright now? Sorry i had to leave like that, i feel so bad.

Something told me she had a lot on her plate and a lot of crap the she experienced in the past. It wasn't my business to stick my nose in it, especially because of the amount of time we've been spending together, even though I was desperate to know what shes going through.

Yet I didn't have the guts to tell her about my mental brake down and problems.