Erin the Fire Goddess: The Beginning

Chapter Fourteen

It was dark when my screams woke me up. I was in my own bed and it was soaked from my sweat. I knew the nightmare I'd had was true when I looked into Sean's eyes, who was sat in a chair next to my bed, as he leant over to stroke my face.

I turned away from his hurt filled eyes and lay back down, with my back to him.

"Why didn't you stop me?" I whispered in the dark, as tears rolled from my eyes and onto my pillow. I tried to block the images of Jessica lying there burnt. Burnt by me. I was still a monster, just worse than the ugly one I use to think of myself.

"I tried." He sounded like he'd been crying too.

"Not hard enough." I snapped as I sat up to push his hands off me. He didn't argue. He just sat there, looking at the floor. I refused to acknowledge the sadness and guilt that sat there in his eyes. "Is she still alive?" He nodded, as I barely managed to ask that question. "I could have killed her."

Sean didn't respond. He just sat there in silence, staring at his hands as he fidgeted restlessly. I still couldn't shake the horrific images.

"I think you should go." I whispered. I didn't want him to go, but I felt something inside me pushing him away. How could I be with someone who could watch me torture someone so inexcusably?

He reached out to me in the dark, but I moved back just out of his reach. I could see the pain I was causing him and it tore at my heart as I watched him walk out of my bedroom.

***

The next week passed in a blur. I spent most of my time in my bedroom, leaving only to go to the bathroom. I was vaguely aware it was raining and had been the whole week. Not that I'd looked out of the window, it was Kasey-Ray's cries, every morning when she got up.

Sean had tried to see me several times and called me constantly, but I refused to see or speak to him. I could see it starting to grate on my parents and how they hated explaining to Sean that I wouldn't come to the phone or door.

By the second week, my parents had had enough. I'd heard my Mum and Kasey-Ray leave to go and do the weekly shopping. Usually it would be both my parents, who would go, and Kasey-Ray would have been out gallivanting somewhere with her friends, but with all this rain, there wasn't much to do. I'd heard her moan about it being the summer holidays and where in the summer should it rain all the time. I knew it was Sean causing the rain, whether consciously or not.

I heard my parent's car pulling out of the drive, just as my bedroom door opened.

"This has to stop." My Dad rumbled as the room started to shake.

"You don't understand." I sighed unhappily.

My Dad's face turned red and what felt like the whole house, started to shake.

"Don't you dare say I don't understand." He took the four steps from my bedroom door to my bed, where I lay, in less than a second. "Don't you dare blame that poor boy for Dr Hammersmith's experiments."

This infuriated me. How could he defend him? Flames started to build. Ignoring this, my Dad continued.

"If Sean had his way, you wouldn't have even gone for that final test." He looked at me, carefully judging my mood, as he walked to the chair at my desk. Sighing he sat down.

"Dr Hammersmith is not someone you disobey. I know I've tried." He frowned sadly, as if he were remembering something. "He uses trainers, like Justin, to control weak minded people." He paused to look at me, "Like Jessica. Dr Hammersmith chose her specifically to torment you. It broke Justin's heart, as he'd became quite attached to her and deep down she was sweet hearted." He shook his head. "It's a shame you never saw that side of her."