Chapter 19

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*The picture is Jesse*

12 years later

Chris P.O.V

I don’t know what it is but Jesse has been acting really strange lately. Like he isolates himself from me and Dan and he doesn’t talk to us like he used to. If I’m honest, I’m really worried about him. I mean, I know he’s not my real son but I still think of him as one. I wonder if Dan’s noticed it…

I was snapped out of my thoughts when Dan entered the living room. “Hey babe, I was thinking, what should we do for Jesse’s 17th birthday?”

Oh yeah, Jesse’s going to be 17 next week…

“I don’t know…”

Dan was silent for a second. “Ok, what’s wrong? You’ve been moping around for the last two days”

“Have you noticed that Jesse’s…changed…”

“What do you mean ‘changed’?”

“Well, he doesn’t talk anymore and he just sits in his room all day…You don’t think he’s being bullied do you?” I asked, now looking at him.

“I’m sure he’s fine. That’s just a natural teenage thing. If it puts your mind at ease, I will talk to him”

“Ok, thanks Dan…”

“Talk to me about what?” We both turned around to see Jesse stood in the doorway as he dropped his rucksack next to the door. The reason I was worried about him being bullied is because he’s different from the other kids at his school…He had different taste in music, clothing, style, his ‘parents’ were gay…

His hair was dyed black, like Phil’s, and styled across his face, he had snake bites and he always wore band shirts and skinny jeans…I was kind of jealous that he could pull it off and I couldn’t. I bet all the girls are after him…Anyway, I’m going off subject…

Dan sighed and gestured to the sofa opposite. “We just need to ask you something”

“Ok?...” He replied, unsure of where this was going. He hesitated at first but walked over and sat on the sofa. “What do you wanna ask me?”

I could see the panic on his face as if he had done something wrong…

“How’s everything at school?” Dan asked.

“Fine…” He nodded.

“Just fine?”

“Where is this going, dad?”

I kept glancing in between the two of them. When they got into an argument, it was like world war three had started...

“You will tell us if anything’s going on right?” Dan continued.

“Yeah…But there isn’t, so there’s no need to tell you anything. Anyway, I’ll be in my room if you need me…” Jesse said as he got up and ran up the stairs, taking two at a time.

“See Chris? He’s fine”

“Can you not tell when someone’s lying?”

“Trust me, if he is lying, he will come to his senses and tell us sooner or later but until then, let’s not bother him anymore, ok?”

“Fine…”

Jesse P.O.V

As soon as I got to my bedroom, I locked the door and fell back onto my bed and just stared at the ceiling.

It’s not that I can’t talk to them, because, you know, they’re my dads…It’s just that I’m worried about their reactions…I don’t want them to be disappointed in me. I want them to be able to brag about me to their friends and family and say ‘Hey, look! That’s our amazing son!’, but no. They’d probably think I’m an embarrassment or something…Ah, the insecurities of a teenager, good times…

I sighed to myself as I got off of my bed and trudged over to my mirror. I stared at my reflection for a few minutes, running the same thoughts through my head.

‘God, I need to lose weight...’

‘Why am I so ugly?’

‘Yep…Probably going to be forever alone…’

Then my mind wandered to the things people would say to me at school…

‘Stupid emo!’

‘Cutter!’

‘Faggot…’

‘No one likes you! Just end it already…’

The last one spun around my head as a few tears sprung to my eyes. What if I did? It would make everyone happier right? My eyes travelled further down my body until they reached my hands. I drew in a shaky breathe as I lifted my sleeves slightly, showing my trail of scars and shame…I had tried to stop, honestly, just in case, you know, they did find out and it would give me less explaining to do but it’s just so hard…

I groaned in frustration as I yanked my sleeves down and went to the bathroom to have a quick shower and freshen up before dinner.

An hour later and we were all sat round the table like a real family…Well, to most people it wasn’t a ‘real family’ because there was no mum, but to me, this was as normal as its normal for the sun to shine…

I stared at my plate and pushed my food around with my fork, not really paying attention to what anyone was saying.

“Jesse, you haven’t eaten anything…” Dan said. Yes I call them dad but I still refer to them as Dan and Chris.

I shrugged in response. “Not hungry” I lied.

“How come?”

I shrugged again. “Just not…”

He placed his knife and fork on either side of his plate and studied my face.

“Ok, something’s wrong. Tell me now”

“See Dan? I told you” Chris whispered.

“Shh…Jesse, I need to know”

“Urgh, it’s nothing ok? Just leave me alone…” I pushed my plate away from me and ran back up to my room.

I buried my face into my pillow and just let my tears fall. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to take this…

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