Love knows no gender - Danstickz fanfic

Chapter 22

*Trigger warning*

Olly P.O.V

We were sat cuddled on his bed like usual and he had his head rested on my chest. He yawned slightly and nuzzled further into my shirt.

I laughed slightly. “Tired?”

He nodded and I wrapped my arms tighter around him. “It’s ok, you can sleep”

“Thanks” He said through another yawn.

A few minutes later, he was fast asleep and I smiled down at him, tangling out hangs together. But that was when I caught a glimpse of something I didn’t expect to see in a million years.

My eyes widened as they flickered back and forth from his sleeping face to where our hands were.

I tried my best not to wake him up as I gently turned his arm facing upwards and carefully pulled up his sleeve revealing so many cuts and scars.

I gasped and shook my head in stunned silence. How could someone as perfect as him, do this to himself? Why didn’t he tell me?

I sat there playing with a strand of his hair for the rest of the time he was asleep as I thought about what I would say to him when he woke up.

He stirred slightly as his eyes slowly fluttered open and looked up at me.

“Hi…” He has that morning voice everyone loved, even though it technically wasn’t the morning. “How long was I asleep?”

“About half an hour”

“Oh ok” He got up and went over to the mirror and started to adjust his bed head.

“Jesse, can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, shoot”

“Well, it’s not really a question, more of needing an explanation”

“Ok?...What is it?” He asked still sorting his hair out.

I walked over to where he was standing and turned him round to face me and took his hand and gently rolled up his sleeve. “Why would you do this to yourself?” I asked in almost a whisper.

He looked down at the floor and pulled his arm away from me and pulled his sleeve back down. “How did you know?”

“I saw it while you were sleeping”

He nodded and turned back to the mirror and stared at his reflection.

“Do you know what it feels like to look at yourself every day and hate what you see? Have everyone hate you wherever you go? Feel like no one wants you around?...I thought I would never have a chance with you and when I found out you liked me, I was over the moon but then I thought to myself every day since then, why would he like me? I’m just a worthless emo freak who deserves to die…I don’t deserve him, he deserves better—“

I cut him off because I couldn’t stand to hear him talk about himself like this.

“Stop, just stop Jesse” I pleaded.

“Why should I! It’s true!”

“No it’s not!” I placed and hand on his shoulder and looked at us in the mirror too. “You are not a worthless emo freak, I don’t hate you and you shouldn’t hate yourself because you are the most perfect person I’ve met in my life. If anything, I don’t deserve you and you shouldn’t think that way because it breaks my heart Jess”

“Really?” He had begun to cry silently to himself now.

“Look at me”

He turned round and looked at me through broken eyes. “What?”

“Please just stop doing this. I don’t want to see you hurt yourself. If you need to talk about anything, I’m hear ok?”

“Ok…”

“Come here” I pulled him into my chest and hugged him with everything I had and eventually he wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face into my neck.

“I love you Olly”

“I love you too”