Miracle (A Vampire Diaries Fan Fiction)

Chapter 14: Feelings My Ass

Now I've been kissed before. A lot, actually. But Damon was just... wow. I tried to think rationally, but with his lips pressed against mine, I couldn't get a single thought out. I wanted to push him away, but some part of my brain - or body - overpowered that thought. So instead of pushing him away, I kissed him back. His scent and proximity were intoxicating. I could feel inner, sensible, Miracle scolding me inside my head. But I ignored that. My hands snake to the back of his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. I ran my fingers through his hair, mussing it up with every stroke.

Without warning, he pulled away and I yelped in surprise. I blinked incoherently, trying to make sense of what just happened. My eyes widened and my heart was racing, ready to thump out of my chest any minute. I stared at him for a moment. He was incredibly disoriented, yet looked as though a huge burden had been lifted off his shoulders. The way his body relaxed momentarily, only to tense up immediately after.

Then he walked away.

Seriously, he just walked away. And I watched him. I wanted to go after him, to ask him what the hell just happened, but the words were all jumbled up in my mind, and my feet were glued to the ground. My lips were slightly set apart, still skeptical. I understand his bad-boy-I-don't-give-a-fuck-aura, but even he couldn't just dismiss something as heated as that. He left the Grill without so much as a glance in my direction. I wanted to laugh at the situation, at how clichéd it felt. Normally I would, if it were happening with Elena for instance. But it was happening to me. And I couldn't bring myself to laugh at it.

'Where's Damon?' I jumped as Alaric's voice rang me out of my thoughts. I turned around.

I cleared my throat. 'He just left,' I mumbled. 'Something must've came up.'

Alaric was unconvinced, but didn't pressure me, which I was thankful for. He gave me an uneasy smile before putting a hand on my back and walking me out. My mind was still reeling with the events. I guess I didn't really help matters. A simple shove on my behalf would've at least made it clear that I wasn't interested. But the way I kissed him back probably wasn't the best way to convey that message. But I wasn't about to let Damon slip into apathy that easily.

Why did I kiss him back? I mean, despite the fact that he was freakishly hot, why did I do it? I admit, I was attracted to him in a way. His enigmatic behavior pulled me closer, but enough to make me lose control? And I barely knew him. I mean, really, what did I know about him? I knew that he was a vampire. I knew that he was a tactless dick. I knew that he's put up an emotional barrier between everyone and everything. But what else did I know?

Nothing.

But that's what made me want him. Even if I'd just realized it now.

Back at the Salvatore residence, I ate my confusion away. Damon wasn't in the house, thankfully, as I wasn't ready to confront him about it just yet. I needed to sort out my feelings. I laughed. Feelings my ass. Since when did I have feelings?

I laid out the facts and tried to come to a conclusion. He kissed me. I kissed him back with just as much passion. Then he disappeared. And he left me wanting more. So was that what a crush was like? Or was that just plain lust? It would make perfectly sense if it were lust. But there was still an unidentifiable desire in the back of my mind. One that I just couldn't place my finger on.

I sighed and went upstairs, where Elena was in her room. She smiled when she saw me, and put away the notebook she was writing in. I slouched on the bed. We just sat there in silence, before I snapped my head towards her. 'Do you like Damon?'

Elena was dumbfounded. 'No,' she said with an air of uncertainty. 'At least, I don't think I do.'

'Good, I need your opinion on something.' I took a breath. 'You see, Damon kissed me and-'

'Wait, what?' She frowned, interrupting me sharply. 'Damon kissed you?' She whispered.

'Yeah...' I trailed off awkwardly.

She stared at me expectantly. 'And what did you do?'

I gulped. 'That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I kissed him back.'

Elena's jaw dropped. She was shocked. But she was also hurt. 'Why?' She breathed, obviously miffed.

'I don't know,' I replied apprehensively. I wanted to ask her why she was so upset.

'He kissed you,' she muttered and laughed stonily. 'He actually kissed you. And I thought he loved me.'

I froze. Well, fuck. Okay, maybe telling Elena wasn't such a good idea. I didn't know what to say or do. Should I apologize? Should I hug her? Before I could do anything, however, she stormed out of the room and downstairs.

'Elena!' I followed her, but came to a halt when I spotted someone else by the door. Shit, I thought. Shit. Shit. Shit. Well, this just keeps getting better and better!

'You said you loved me!' Elena shrieked at Damon. 'Just yesterday, you told me you loved me.'

Her voice was breaking down, and I fought the urge to slap her.

'Why are making such a big deal out of it?' I asked. They both looked at me. 'I thought you didn't like him!'

I saw a teardrop flow down her cheek and immediately felt guilty. But I did nothing wrong! She didn't have the right to be so mad at me. I got pissed at her fragility. My fists clenched with anger and my jaw tensed.

'Why did you kiss him back?' She managed to squeak out.

'I don't know, Elena!' I screeched. 'Stop trying to make me feel guilty!'

'But you kissed him back!'

'That's it,' I muttered and turned around to walk away, but stopped abruptly. 'No! No, you know what?' I made my way toward Damon before I'd even realized what I was doing. 'If I'm gonna feel guilty about something, I'm gonna feel guilty about this.'

And so I kissed him.

A/N

Lots of kissing lately... Anywho, 100+ votes you guys! :D I can never thank you enough. I'm sorry if I haven't been able to thank all of you guys personally, but to each and every one of you: THANK YOU! :) I love you! Don't forget to VOTE and COMMENT! Thanks again.