FIXING YOU

T W E N T Y THREE

• Justin's POV •

If you're with it, then I'm with it, now
To accept all the responsibility
I'd go out of my way to live by the words that you say,
I don't wanna be the same..

Maybe you could change me..

I tapped my pen on the paper, mumblin' the lyrics to myself while I chewed on the pen's cap. Lookin' out the window to the left of me, I watched the clouds pass by slowly. I've never flown in a private jet before- only flew once before this, I just wish the reason being wasn't so fucking awful.

The day started off perfect like it usually does, morning kisses and some sexual activity then I cooked breakfast for the both of us. Noah went off to her meeting, Stella came over. We were playin' videogames, just chillin' and then, Noah called and asked me to meet her at the airport with her passport.

Obviously, I was concerned and very confused. She explained what happened when I got there without shedding a single tear which I give her so much props for 'cause if it would've been me- I don't even wanna think about how I would've acted. There's only so much someone can take, you know? I came with some stuff packed, thinkin' she'd need me yet the only reason I'm not currently holding her in my arms is because she asked to be alone.

I don't know what to expect from her anymore, she's strong some days and broken on others and is it wrong that I need her to need me? She's been alone long enough, doesn't she see that I'm here now- or maybe, she's just so used to being alone that it's all she knows.

I wanna respect her wishes but I don't believe she honestly feels that way. She's less than twenty feet away from me- probably face down in a pillow, balling her eyes out. We've got eight more hours of this flight, my fucking leg won't stop bouncing up and down.
"Fuck it," I shrugged my jacket off and stood up, tossing my notebook down. I walked toward the back of the jet, should I knock? What if she gets upset- or she's sleeping? I laughed at myself, why does this girl affect me so much? I'm always pausing and considering her feelings or thoughts before every move I make. Glancin' down as I drug my hand through my hair, I slid my sneakers off- leaving 'em beside Noah's heels to waste a few more seconds. I feel nervous; I just love her so much that's it's ridiculous, and I guess, that answers my previous question.

I finally quit being a pussy and slid the door aside, I stepped inside the bedroom, seeing that it's mainly taken up by the queen sized bed. Noah's back was to me, arms wrapped around a pillow and hair spread out in waves of blonde and brown behind her. "Are you asleep, babe?" I spoke quietly- just in case she was, then I heard a muffled response and knew that she wasn't. "I know you said you wanted to be alone, but it's just that, I was missin' you so much and.." I went on as I crawled across the bed. Noah sat up only so I could lay down and be the 'big spoon' as she calls it. Once her head was on my chest and we were comfortable, I noticed a little shelf just a few inches above the bed and what was on it. "I thought you didn't like Jack Daniels?"

She lifted her head and looked back at the shelf then up at me, "doesn't taste as bad when you're sad."

Unfortunately, I know exactly what she's sayin'.

She sat up on her knees and reached for the bottle, "do you want some?" She tilted her head back and took a swig, shivering afterward 'cause the strong taste. I watched her slowed movements and wobbles of her head, her eye makeup is smeared underneath her eye and her baby pink sweater is dangling off one shoulder.