FIXING YOU

AFTERWORD

• Noah's POV •

"I have to, Justin." I wiped away my tears as they fell. He and I could stand here in this very dark hall and yell at one another 'till the sun rises. We could pour our hearts out to another some more, Justin could apologize a hundred more times but it would not change what's already happened. "It's the right thing to do," I said quietly.

He took a step back and looked down at me, "well," he cocked his eyebrow, "do you wanna be right or do you wanna be with me?"

I shook my head as a broken hearted chuckle left my lips, "that isn't fair."

Being with Justin was never right, if Cole hadn't begged my father to hire his roommate then I would have never met Justin because people like he and I don't just run into another one. I'd probably still be friends with Elle, but I would've never known what it's like to be loved by him and it is lovely. "I want to be with you," I moved closer and laid my hands on his chest. "Justin, I love you so much that my entire body aches at the thought of not wakin' up beside you tomorrow morning."

He took my hands in his and looked me in the eyes, tellin' me that it doesn't have to be that way. "We can go somewhere else-"

"We can't run away from this!"

I think it's time I check back into reality, time to gain some fucking control which I lost all of when I fell in love. I don't know how I let things go so wrong. "You lied to me," I said and he lightly squeezed my hands. He never likes admitting that he was wrong. "You put Ryan in a coma. We left my house probably thousand people high on cocaine, drunk and whatever else!" I wanted to cry but I just couldn't anymore. I know what I have to do and that is the right thing. "Jayde needs me right now," I sniffed and at the same time he did too.

Through his tears he said, "I need you too, Noah." Justin wrapped me in his arms and held me as if he wouldn't ever get the chance to again as he cried on my shoulder. "I need you more than she or anyone else ever will!" His body shook as he sobbed, now I couldn't stop myself from crying. "What if we just go back together?"

As much as I wanted that, it wasn't an option. "My father wants to put you in jail," I told him. Jayde told me and, of course he'd do something like that because Eddy loves Ryan like he's his very own son. I can't even imagine what my father's going to do when he sees me, but honestly I don't even care at this point.

I've been trying to get my fathers attention long before my mother died but more so after her funeral took place and he didn't bother showing up, it took spending half a million dollars in under a day then going missing for five to get him angry?

"I can't go back to Jail," he uttered.

I nodded in understanding. That's probably another reason why my father's suddenly taken an interest. "I have to go back alone," I whispered, "and fix what I can."

I caught my breath and suddenly it was being pulled from me again. Justin kissed me as if he could fix all things wrong in the world and if he kissed just a while longer, I believe he quite possibly could.

Unfortunately, my phone started going off in my pocket and I realized that I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him or those lips of his..

What if I stay? What if we go some place else like he suggested and we just pretend this didn't happen? Would I ever be at peace with myself? Would Justin?

"I'm sorry," he said as his fingers ran through my hair. I know that he's sorry, I can hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes but it isn't okay so I don't tell him that it is. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding on to him with all that I had left. I'm gonna leave my heart right here with him. He pressed his lips against my forehead and kissed me so softly, "I love you."