Sorry, I am different

Chapter 15

SPOOPY WEEK

SPOOPY WEEK

WHAT WEEK IS THIS

IT'S SPOOPY WEEK

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TRIGGER WARNING (panic attack, self harm)

Emily's P.O.V.

Im so tired. Everything is getting darker and darker. It's like the sky is falling and I know it is gonna crash me. But I have to run. My heart is beating so fast that i feel like it is gonna pop out of my chest. But I can't just stay there. I ran and I ran and I ran. But im not going anywhere. Im still in the same spot, the sky is still falling but im also more tired than before. I am trying to escape even though I know i can't. This is it? Is this the end? It can't be, I wont let it be.

Panic Attack.

Again.

Ugh.

I am strong.

I have to deal with this.

Again.

I get up to go to the bathroom. I don't want her to hear me. No one knows and no one must never know. I don't want people to think I am weak. I hate it. I hate it more than anything. I never cry in front of people. I have never had. There are these moments that the tears just want to leave off my eyes and my heart says to let them go but my mind always wins. I turn the pain to something else. Mostly my body. I turn the mental pain into physical. I know it is not right. I know i have to stop. But I cant.

I rush into the bathroom. My heart still beats like crazy. This is like my 20th panic attack in a year. I always find a way to stop them without anyone knowing. I closed the door behind me slowly. I lock it and i sit to the floor. I take a little box from my pocket. I unlock it and there it is. Staring at me. That little piece of metal. It is like it is talking to me. I have a little debate with myself if i should do this or not but in the end i give in.

My hearts is stil racing and i can barely breath. I pull up my pants and I look at my feet. Full of scars. I never did it to my arms cause they were too visible. I took the little piece of metal and I just did it. I sliced my skin. One.... Two..... Three.... Six..... Ten..... Im stopping now. That was too much. I look at my foot now. The blood is running like crazy and it has covered up mostly all my foot from knee and down. It starts forming a little puddle on the floor. I touch my heart with my hand. It doesnt beat fast now. I did it. I stopped my problem. But I created another one. I heard a noise from the bedroom. I quickly locked the piece of metal in the box. I took a lot of paper and I started to wipe the blood, but the wounds were too big and it wouldnt stop. I just pressed the paper against my foot and I lay on my back. Fuck. I think i cut deeper than i should. I put bandages on my scars and start cleaning the floor cause it is full of blood again. I suddenly hear another noise from the bedroom. Crap. It is Alice. I start to throw the bloody toilet paper in the bin and put more on top. I flashed the toilet so i could have an excuse , i unlocked the door and i went out.

She was just laying on the bed so peaceful and beautiful. She is just something, i thought to myself and I smiled. I went back and sat on the bed trying not to make any noise. I was next to her and I was staring at her closed eyes, until she opened them.

"Heyy....", she said in a sleepy voice and rubbed her eyes. "Is it morning yet?"

I laughed and answered "No sleepy head, go to sleep now"

"Okay.... But then why are you up?" she asked

"Nothing. I just had to pee", i smiled

"Sure... Goodnight!"

"Goodnight!"

She didn't knew I was lying.

Alice's P.O.V.

I knew she was lying.

Emily's P.O.V.

It doesn't really matter

Alice's P.O.V.

It does matter

Emily's P.O.V.

I am not going to tell her

Alice's P.O.V.

Why doesn't she tell me

Emily's P.O.V

She will hate me for that

Alice's P.O.V.

I will never hate her for that

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GUYS I KNOW THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU EXPECTED BUT

I HAVE TO SLOW THE STORY LINE

CAUSE THERE WERE SO MUCH SHIT GOING ON ON THE OTHER CHAPTERS

AND THERE'LL BE SOOOOOO MANY MORE IN THE REST

SO YEAAAAAAH THATS WHAT I WANTED TO SAY

ANYWAYSSSSSSSS

BYEEEE trasHES ITS SPOOPY WEEK

(THIS IS ACTUALLY 777 WORDS WOW)