Secrets

Chapter 4- Alesha's PoV

AN~ This is happening at about the same time as chapter 3 but in Alesha's PoV. X

Why can't I just get some more sleep. I have been waking up constantly during the night, I have had about three hours sleep at the most last night. I would normally still be asleep at the moment, but I just can't sleep and it is 4:30 in the morning. I was already showered and dressed by 4 o'clock, and now I have brushed my hair and checked in on Azura to make sure that she is alright.
I feel like going for a walk to clear my head. First I am going to right a note to Azuka, letting him know that I have gone out and shouldn't be long, just in case he wakes up before I get back up. I need a smoothie to take with me on a walk as I have quite dry lips this morning and I love a good smoothie in the morning. So I chop up some strawberries, some blueberries and some raspberries and put them into the smoothie maker. I pour the smoothie into a beaker and taste it to make sure that it is just right. It tastes wonderful as they normally do.
I pick up my phone, put on my thin hoodie, grab my smoothie and my keys, open the door as gently as possible and then close the door so that it made little noise so it didn't wake up anyone. The air was quite cold this morning, the past couple of days it hasn't been very cold so I have only needed to wear a thin jacket, but this morning it is colder than it has been. But it is February and the weather always changes here.
So many thoughts are going around my head at the moment. All I can think about is will Rachel like me and what she will say when I tell her, will she be really annoyed and hate me for it or will she understand my reasons for it and not hate me. It leads me to wonder am I doing the right thing by telling her or should I not tell her at all, but I have to tell her, this is my chance and I need to do it. I was hoping that this walk would clear my head, but I have been walking for at least five minutes now and it has just made me think about more things than less.
I really need to message someone but who, I could either message Mandy or Rachel. Hmm I think I will message Mandy first. I grab my phone out it is five minutes to five. Mandy probably won't be up but it's worth a try. I type: 'Hey Mandy, sorry if your phone wakes you up. I need to talk to someone thoughts are going round and round my head and I thought that you wouldn't mind talking. Message me or ring me when you get this. Love Leesha. X."
I will message Rachel. She is probably sound asleep. I want to message her though to see if she is nervous and if she is excited. After several attempts of typing different ones, here's the message: 'Good morning, message me back when you get this, I can't stop thinking about meeting you later today, which is why I am messaging you at 5 o'clock in the morning, sorry it is so early, I feel really bad for messaging you so early. So sorry about this. Love Leesha X.'
I put my phone in my hoodie pocket and take a sip of my smoothie. I have reached a park, which is only five minutes away from home. Azura loves it here, I often meet a few of my friends here who bring along their children to play. Azura gets on with quite a few of the other children, she is very friendly. I go into the park and sit on the swing, for a couple of minutes it is peaceful while I just swing slowly, in my own little world.
All of a sudden there is a loud music sort of noise. I look around and see that my pocket is glowing only to realise that it is my phone ringing which is making the loud noise. I take it out of my pocket and see that it is Mandy calling and answer it.
"Hey Mandy." I say in a quiet voice.
"Hey darling, this better be good, I got out of bed to talk to you. So what's wrong?" Mandy says in a sleepy voice.
"Sorry I disturbed you Mandy. I am just getting all these nasty thoughts popping into my head and I don't know what to do." I say, starting to cry a little bit.
"Tell me all about them, maybe I can help you to stop thinking them." Mandy says.
"It's just I don't know whether Rachel will like me or not and if she will understand why I kept this from her. I don't want her to hate me though. And I don't know whether now is the right time to tell her." I say now sniffling and sobbing quite a bit.
"I'm sure Rachel will like you and understand you. Now is the right time to tell her, you may not get another chance, so it has to be now! If you aren't doing it for yourself do it for Rachel or for me!" Mandy says in an encouraging tone but quite stern. She is actually very reassuring when it comes to things like this.
"Thank you so much Mandy, this has put my mind at rest quite a bit. I think I am going to feel a lot better after this conversation. It has helped me a lot and now I know that I will definitely do it today! So thank you for getting up, ringing me and having this nice chat with me." I say, not crying anymore and wiping away the tears.
"That's ok. As long as you are ok now. It was worth getting up for this chat. I have to go now. See you later darling. Love ya."
"Bye. Thanks again. Love ya too. See you. Kisses."
I hang up and put the phone away. I can go back home now my mind is more at ease now.
Authors note ~ Hope you like this chapter. Thank you for reading so far. I can't wait to read comments. X