Bedeviled [Bucky Barnes] DISCONTINUED

05

Last night was something I've never experienced before. I was forced to use my powers until I was completely drained from energy. I always feel a little woozy after using my powers and the bigger the wound, the woozier I get.

They made me help at least 12 people. Some with severe injuries. It was truly exhausting, I was barely conscious when I was brought back to my cell.

I don't really remember anything from last night right before I fell asleep, I was so exhausted, physically and mentally.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Bucky asks carefully, his voice just above the volume of a whisper.

I shake my head, avoiding his gaze. "I just want to forget it ever happened."

Bucky sighed, "You're keeping things from me again."

"It's much better this way," I say plainly, looking ahead at the hallway, the light flickering every few seconds.

"Will they come get you again?" He asks and I feel his hand resting on top of mine.

I turn to look at our hands and feel my eyes tearing up. "Possibly," I say with my voice cracking slightly. "Now that they know the extent of my powers they might push me over the edge to see if my powers are improvable."

"If I could, I'd take your place just so you didn't have to go through this," he says sincerely, seeming to really mean it. I know he doesn't.

"Stop lying to me, James," I say angrily. "You know if you could, you'd rather leave and let me stay here than the other way around."

"I'm not lying!"

"Yes, you are," I snap, finally looking at him in the eye. "No sane person would ever take someone else's place to go through this hell."

Bucky stays quiet after that for a few seconds, looking at me in pity. "I just wish I could help you somehow."

"Well, you say that now," I start and pull my hand away from his. "But wait 'till it all gets to my head," I say and lie down on the bed. "It's just a matter of time before I lose my mind," I mutter before resting my eyes. "And helping me will become a lost cause."

***

Hours later, I sit up, feeling guilty for saying all those horrible and things. I know Bucky must be feeling a little blue himself after that. What I said was overly dramatic but I was still scared witless.

"You woke," Bucky says quietly and I turn to look at him, sending him a small smile.

"I did, indeed." I yawn, covering my mouth before running a hand through my knotted hair. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier." I apologize, genuinely feeling bad. "I was just shaken, that's all."

Bucky nods in an understanding manner, not judging me in the slightest. "It's alright, doll," He says with a smile and I feel my cheeks heating up slightly. "You have every right to be afraid."

"Aren't you afraid?" I ask, wondering how he can be so calm.

"Petrified," he says sadly and looks at me with his sad, tired eyes. "The thought of never getting out has got me sitting here with my heart in my mouth," he says honestly, not sparing me from the truth.

"You know, you don't need to act strong for me. Don't hide your feelings."

"I'm not—"

"I'm not saying you definitely are... I'm saying just in case."

Bucky lifts one of his brows and looks at me in confusion. He nods, "Okay, I'll keep that in mind."

***

While I lie awake on my bed listening to Bucky's quiet snores, I find my thoughts wandering to Jack.

He always snored. I always hit him with my pillow to wake him up so he would stop snoring.

We didn't have a big house, me an Jack slept in the same bed. We would always talk about our day before falling asleep. I slept with my head next to the headboard and Jack slept with his head in the foot of the bed, that way we had some more space to ourselves.

We used to gently run our fingers over the inner side of each other's forearms when we were younger. It was very calming. Neither of us were really that ticklish, so that helped.

I used to always feel so safe around Jack. He was always there for me. Our parents fought a lot, actually only our father yelled and mother begged for forgiveness. Our father was an alcoholic, he beat us and our mother. Once when he was about to beat me, Jack came to my rescue. Jack stood up to our father which ended badly for poor Jack.

I tended Jack's wounds that night. I thanked him for standing up for me. He said it was nothing and that he'd do anything for his little sister.

I cried that night, granted it was only few days before Jack left for war where he fought for our country so bravely like it was said in the letter that we got.

The next day we found out that our father had left, he was nowhere to be found. The police assumed him to be dead. Died in a ditch in his ossified state.

I wasn't dancing with joy when I heard the news but it was somewhat of a relief. My father was not a nice man. He made my mother and us kids miserable. I still gave my mother the emotional support she needed after her husband's death. I also showed my respect for my late father.

Of course we lost our main source of finance. It made things more complicated for us. I went to work in cafe a while after. The job wasn't that good. I got paid enough to help my mother but a lot of men came around, treating me and the other girls somewhat badly. I know Jack would have snapped his cap, flipped his wig if he had ever come see me in the cafe while those men were trying to sweep me off of my feet.

The sad thing is, my mother found out she was pregnant a couple of days after our father was pronounced dead. She was worried but I was there for her. Gladly, she gave birth to healthy twins, a girl and a boy.

I hope my mother and my baby siblings are doing okay. My mother met a nice man called Peter about a year ago, he's nice to her and he's nice to us children as well. He's helped her with financial issues. He's a stand-up guy. We... My family is lucky to have him in their lives.

I don't let myself think about them all that much. The nights make it all much worse, though. At night, when it's dark and I'm even more afraid, my mind wanders to the things I won't let myself think about in the daylight when anyone could see me.

I do cry and show weakness at times but whenever I can, I try to prevent myself from doing so. It's not that I think showing weakness is wrong but I still feel embarrassed about it. I grew up with a big brother and he taught me how to be 'tough'. He taught me how to intimidate men who were harassing me. Some boys in our neighborhood were actually a little scared to even look at me but that wasn't because I was intimidating, it was because Jack was.

God, I miss him. I miss him so much.

I now know that he is not dead, thanks to Bucky and his lack of ability to lie without showing it.

I want to know what happened to him but now that I'm here, I've learned something.

Sometimes it's better not knowing the truth.

"Sometimes it is better to kept in the dark than be blinded by the light."

So, another chapter. How do you feel about the story so far?

Here's some backstory to Marie's family. Do you think we'll see anyone from her family later on?