❀Chapter 9❀

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OKAY GUYS BUT 207 READS GUYS HWAT THEJFUKC
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Jess
Luke is rubbing my hand gently as I stare into the void of people walking, dreading the sound of the lady behind the desk who is moments away from announcing to the people in the airport that we will be boarding soon.

Leaving Luke is like having your heart crushed into two. Fate just comes up to you one day, rips your heart out, throws it on the floor, stomps on it a million times, spits on it, and shoves the remains back into you.

Fuck you fate. Right where it hurts.

Luke and I should have had a life together. Don't get me wrong, I've known him my whole life and I'm extremely grateful for that but, I would've loved to spend the rest of it with him.

You only get one shot at life, and once fate has shot it for you, you fall into this deep state called depression.

Yes, I guess you could say I'm depressed. But, can you blame me? My best friend is dead, my boyfriend fucking blew me off for a slut, and my dad is dying. Really, can you blame me? Oh, and I'm also leaving my life long best friend and boyfriend. I usually don't act depressed because I don't want people to know what's on the inside of me, oh god, just thinking about that makes me shiver. And you're probably thinking, well whenever you're with Luke you always seem happy. Well, Luke does indeed make me happy, but he is my only happiness.

I guess you can say I'm un-happy when I'm not with Luke. Yeah, let's leave it at that.

When I'm with Luke, it's like opening a pinatã at your birthday party, as a kid. You don't know what you're gonna get, but you sort of do at the same time, and you know it's gonna be good. That's basically Luke Robert Hemmings in a sentence.

But when I'm not with Luke, I'm this little girl with no purpose. No, I don't cut myself, but I do write little notes on my arm in replacement, just as a reminder of what a fucking failure I am. All my dad and mom's work friends always tells me how successful I am, but that's literally utter bull crap. Nobody knows what I do, except Luke. And he knows that I hate talking about my feelings, but he also knows that I do it when I have to.

While thinking of the boy who makes me smile every day, the moment I have been dreading has arrived. I never thought in my entire life that I would have to say goodbye to Luke. I see Luke almost as a brother to me, but also in a way that I love him as my boyfriend? It's complicated.

I really want to die right now. Right here, this spot, God if you want to jump on that, have me be struck by lighting this very second, thank you.

"Flight 249-69 will be departing shortly. We will begin to let people on board. Please gather your belongings and proceed to the gate, thank you," the lady said in a voice almost identical to a robot. I bet if you actually put a robot there nobody would notice the difference.

"Hey Jess," Luke said to me.

"Um, hi?" I asked, sighing afterwards.

"I don't really know what to, you know, say," he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. I could tell he was nervous, because I'm nervous too. Nervous of the future, what it holds, what it will bring for me, my family, and Luke.

"Oh god Luke, I love you and I'm just so sorry that I did this to you," I explained to Luke.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Jess," he said in return, smiling ever so he slightly. He wiped the single tear that rolled down my face off onto his Vans sweatshirt.

"I love you. So much. I know it seems like I'm leaving you, but I'll always be right by your side. I'm making you that promise. I'm always just a phone call away," he explained, choking on his words at the end.

"I know, and that's the worst part. You're just a phone call away. Not just around the corner anymore," I whispered, pulling him in for a hug, needing the feeling of his embrace.

"Hey, don't talk like that, it'll all be okay. I promise," He swore, and I knew that he meant it.

I nodded, kissing him on the cheek, my lips lingering, not wanting to pull away. He cupped my face, and moved my lips onto his, our lips not moving in sync, but just laying there. We both needed this, and that's why we're not rushing anything.

Because we need each other.

"Goodbye Luke. Or, later alligator, if we're getting technical here," I said, trying to lighten up the mood. I laughed, and just quickly pecked his right cheek one last time, before turning away, not being able to control the tears anymore.

"After a while, crocodile," I heard him whisper as I speed walked away from my happiness, the sadness controlling my actions.

I quickly sped to the gate, handing the lady behind the counter my passport. She looked over it once, handed it back to me, and told me to have a nice flight.
I look back at Luke, and waved to him slowly. He did the same, and gave me that crooked smile I always loved.

I walked into the plane, and found my mother's and I's seats. I had the window seat, and she followed behind, sitting on the outside seat near the rest of the people.

I told her I didn't want to be near anyone, just one glance at someone can remind me of Luke.

My mom took my hand, and looked at me with a warm smile. I returned the fake gesture, making me look okay and like I'm able to cope with this, grinning on the outside, but really, I'm just burning away on the outside.
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I had some writers block so whY NOT UPDATE ???

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