God Uses The Broken

Chapter 7

Mali walked into her house with saturated clothes. She ran to her bedroom to change her clothes in fear of making their carpet wet. As she changed, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. 'Fat. Ugly. Unloved.' Those three words consumed her mind. She backed away from the mirror, hands across her chest. A deep heavy sigh escaped her mouth. Slowly and mindfully, she took her phone from her bag and dialled Amir's number. Her thumb trembled as it pressed the dial button. 

No answer. She tried again. No answer. She then remembered that there was something else she could confide in. A blade. She searched for her pencil case in her backpack, and took out a pencil sharpener. She ran to the kitchen where she could unscrew the blade with a knife. tShe succeeded in doing so. The blade was shiny and glistening. 

It was still raining outside, and lightning was making it's glorious appearance. Mali held the blade in her hand. She looked up at the ceiling as if pleading with God to help her. She didn't want to cut herself. That would be flushing a whole year of defeating her demons down the drain. She was scared and confused. Everything around her was blurry, with her eyes focused on  the blade. Sweat began trickling down her temples as her breathe sharpened. Her eyes were burning with tears and her ears heated up. 

"I don't want to live like this," she shouted out . "I can't lose all this progress. I've come a long way" Her breath quickened. She placed the razor blade against her melanated wrist and gently traced a line across it, which only left a mere scratch. She took a deep breathe and traced another line against her wrist. She was scared of cutting herself, but she wanted to do so so badly. She whimpered as she cut deeper the third time round. Blood streamed down her open wound. Continually, she slit her wrist and up the sleeve of her arm. The 'thrill' of cutting consumed her. Both her arms were overflowed with blood and her face had streams of tears. 

She felt weak and defeated. Her demons were winning this constant battle. Patterned vibrations went off on her bed. She looked at the caller ID her phone revealed. Amir. Guilt, shame, hatred. 'Why didn't he call earlier' she thought with frustration. She wanted to blame him because he was not there when she needed him, but she knew that it was her own decision to cut herself. 

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A/N- Hey guys! I hope you're all having a blessed February❤️. I know it's been a while since I've uploaded anything. But you know- school, life...I decided to do a filler chapter and hopefully a longer chapter will be up in a week or two!

19/02/17- Sorry guys, not an update, just added a video at the top! 

Stay blessed xx

Lots of love!

Ellie x

unedited.