God Uses The Broken

Chapter 9

Mali turned around, crossed her arms and looked up to the sky.

"Come to church with me on Sunday." Amir asked. He was scared of her answer but he knew that he wouldn't take no for an answer. He knew God wanted him to continue leading Mali to Him and being a light in her life. It was difficult as he knew how broken she was. But like a whisper in his heart, he always remembered that God is near to the broken hearted and saves those crushed in spirit. That gave him hope for Mali. Hope that one day she will realise that God is good, even in the darkest of times.

Mali didn't answer him but he knew inside she wanted to discover more about Yahweh.

"I'll take that as a yes."

She turned to face him with her forehead creased and her mouth slightly open. Amir knew she wanted to protest but he grabbed her hand and began walking before she could start. He walked until they reached a bookstore.

"What are we doing here, Amz?" She asked annoyingly.

"Well, if you're coming to church with me, then we need to get the princess a Bible, don't you think?"

"Uh whatever." She said whilst rolling her eyes.They searched the whole bookstore for thirty minutes in search of the perfect Bible for Mali. "We're getting nowhere. Clearly it's a sign that I don't need a Bible."

Amir chuckled and continued looking perseveringly. After another few minutes of continually hearing Mali say "Can we just leave?" "I'm tired." "I'm hungry." "We should just go.", he found a Bible with a velvety leather cover. Inside were the powerful verses that would change Mali's life and that continually wow Amir. It had space on the margins for notes and meditation, and some pages contained Bible art journaling which captured Mali's attention when she saw them.

"Beautiful right?" Amir said with a smirk across his face.

"What?"

"Well the Bible and the new owner."

"Ha, flattery Mr. Ishmael?"

"Nope, just honesty Miss," He said with a goofy smile that refused to go away. Amir bought the Bible, even after Mali explicitly refused for him to buy it, he did so anyway. "It's a gift Mali. Just go with the flow for once. Okay?" Mali rolled her eyes in frustration and folded her arms.

They walked together until they reached an intersection. Amir noticed  that Mali was deep in thought when she didn't cross the road when the pedestrian light turned green. 

"So, are you going to cross the road or what?"

"Ah yeah. But before that...can..." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "...can I ask you something?"

Amir nodded suspiciously in response.

"How can you believe in God so much if He allows bad things to happen?"

Amir was taken a back. The question came out of nowhere and he was afraid of answering her question. He was scared of saying the wrong thing. 

With the events that led up to that very moment, Amir knew that this question was not just a question out of curiosity. It was a delicate question that Amir knew would either bring Mali closer to God or pull her further away.It needed such a delicate answer. For Mali to ask such a question, he knew something traumatising must have happened to her before he had met her. Something that would make her question God's love for His people.

"Well...uh..."

"See, you can't even answer that question." This time she looked directly at him, "Why does your God allow sickness, poverty, war, depression...death?" She wanted to know why God allowed evil to run the world. Why He allowed Sarah to die. That was an answer she so desperately wanted to know everyday of her life. "Amir, if God loved us so much, then why would these things happen? Why Amir? WHY!?" Her anger riled her up and her hands began to shake. Tears began to form at the edge of her eyes. She was so angry she made a u-turn and stormed off. 

"Mali!..." 

Amir followed her to wherever she was going. Cautiously, he walked metres behind her, in hopes that she would calm down without interaction. Allowing both of them to deeply think. 

She stopped at a bench beside a glistening water fountain at a park. Upon noticing many coins at the bottom of the fountain, Mali searched her pockets for a coin too, in hopes of making a wish. Amir watched Mali, he went to stand beside and placed a coin in front of her face. In silence, Mali took the coin, flicked it into the fountain and made a wish with her eyes shut and her hands bundled close to her chest. 

'I just want peace...'

She took a deep breathe out and stared at the coins at the bottom of the fountain, then she turned to Amir who was staring at her.

"I'm sorry for my outburst..."

"It's no biggie."

They stared at each other in silence and then Amir embraced her tightly. Tears formed in his eyes. He wanted so bad for Mali's worries to be lifted from her. Even if it meant that he had to risk some of his happiness in order for her to be the least bit happy. In knowledge that worrying about Mali would be misplacing his trust in God, he lifted all his burdens to God in that moment. 

It's a hard thing to do. Lifting your burdens to God. But in it's difficulty it is very important. Worry is an idol because of the simple fact that your focus is on whatever is worrying you in that moment, instead of focusing and trusting on God's grace.

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A/N:

Hey friends. It's been a while. Yes. The transition from high school to university is a hard one. But  it's now summer and hopefully that means I'll be able to write a lot more, and God willing finish this book this summer. 

Peace and blessings,

Ellaine xx

P.S. this chapter is unedited so feel free to correct any errors.