Mare's Nest: A Tale Of Bond

CHAPTER FIVE

JADE'S POV

The night was dark and silent, the moon was just a crescent. Only the nocturnal bird was heard, the owl from the distance that was devouring to itself the silence of the night. A haze of red blurred in the dark from my digital alarm clock beside my bed. Once in a while, a car pass by, showing a sign of life. My arms were sadly wrapped around me, engulfing my weak knees to myself as I silently let the tears meander down my face. They flowed with endless pain and gave no relief. The panicky beats of my heart drizzled like a warning clock, ticking off by the seconds, engulfed and buried in burdens that was too heavy to carry.

Life never ceases to torture weak hearts I learned, but with no hope at all or anyone to stand by me, how was I supposed to stand on my feet? I hugged my knees closer, heaving a mute sigh, but why does it hurt so much?

A miserable gasp of pain escaped my trembling lips and the painful tears kept flowing. There were no shadows to hide, no rains to wash off the pains, no shields to protect me, no road to lead me, and no light to guide me, the silence of that night whispered how cruel the world can be.

I felt the sudden urge to brace up, to face life and show the world how strong you can be for yourself and even for others. Time to face the painful truth, enough of the ceaseless tortures; I couldn't sense an end to its trail. I wiped my wet face with the back of my hand, it was time to erase the painful fear and for the first time, that frown of courage flushed onto my face. It was time to smile all the way again and leave the awful past behind.

It was a sudden decision, struck by courage; one I will always live to cherish, the tunnel had thorns, but I never let them hurt, for I walked through it alone, just like a loner looking for life a second time; bracing my heart not to be anything but stoic. That night was a memorable one after all, I can still remember how strong I felt, wiping off the piercing tears to the beats of my heart; I realized I should live to be proud of myself.

The musty and dampness of the old diary made me realize how long things have been gone and how much I have changed. It stretched a smile on my face, mentally teasing myself at how weak I was, but then life can be so tricky, very, very tricky. Tricky at creating a beautiful illusion of letting your heart believe someone is always there for you, like believing you don't really need to be strong, or maybe you don't even know if there is need to be strong, and then just when the point in life comes when you need someone but they are not there for you, you realize just much you have been believing, and then the session of tortures and pain follow and you endure them alone, until you learn to realize you actually need to believe in yourself before others. So long, diary.
Jade Bradshaw, 2007

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Present day

The dreaded walk to Carla's beauty shop happens every Saturday morning. My eyes felt bleary even though I slept an hour extra. Before leaving the house, Carla had three times come into my room to wake me up but I just rolled and fussed out of habit. She sighed the third time before gently shutting the door and left. Getting rid of dyspnea will be a great achievement in my life if I ever make it. I finally fought it and got myself ready, leaving my room just messy as usual. It’s okay to be messy, I always tell my sister, being neat is old lads stuff, but hey, am not dirty, just messy, okay?
Carla had just brewed coffee before she left and thank God for blue berry scones she made last night.

Having to subject myself to listen to those lousy women who can't resist gossips and trends and tolerating their stupid fights and feigning nice to some fake bitch is just something I really don't feel like doing today.

I mentally rolled my eyes and wondered how many times in a trillion will Carla drag me to the back door and scold me for being rude to an arrogant customer.