Torn Again

CHAPTER 1

first day of me being a third year and I guess this will be tough since I will soon graduate and will receive a degree. I studied bachelor in Elementary Education since I love kids and always my passion to teach them and mingle with them.

Did I mention that I'm the lady who likes love stories?.. tho I never had one.

The thought of me being NBSB
No Boyfriend Since Birth make me sad sometimes but I'll find one someday and that will be my first and last. I always note to myself

I was pulled out from my revery when I accidentally bump into some kind of post or something hard which turned out to be

"Mr. Heartbreaker with the lowest IQ"

"Hey hey watch where you going blindy"i

That "blindy" just hit a nerve on me and I swear I'm about to punch this Mr. Who lacks IQ thankfully my smarty mind come up with a smart Retort

"Oh sorry Mr. Smarty never! Did I just hit those fats in your tummy? Will I drag you to the hospital now?"

I asked feigning a worried look

He was stuned since he's not use to calling him names or anyone ridiculing his so called "Abercrombie Body"

I swear I'm about to puke

"Hey miss Blindy with the four eyes, I know you like me ever since the world begun you just can't admit to yourself because you know that I will NEVER EVER FALL IN LOVE with a girl who know nothing aside from anything written in books."

"Feeling's mutual Edwards I don't like you either, and NEVER WILL "

"Huh! Keep telling that, indulge yourself with lies Carla Rave 'CR' Jones"

And just like that he walked out with that triumphant look on his face.

Just what the f**k wait for my revenge Edwards. You'll regret you mess up with Carla Rave Jones. The prettiest girl in the campus.

Or that's what you want to believe?

My subconscious butted in

Oh shut up I know I'm pretty the campus doesn't need to know. Smiling ear to ear I entered my first Class, my Favorite subject.

Mathematics
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Life is fun with mathematics I just don't know why they always say that 5 out 4 people are not good in math..
   .I mean it's just an exaggeration but why would you hate math when everything about you is related to math?

I scratch thinking about their reason I'm starving and I gotta grab atleast a sandwich to suffice my hunger.

"Hey Carly babe going at the canteen?" There goes my dare devil bestfriend the ever supportive to all my pursuit
Joven Keith Miller

We became friends for we share the same interest. We both love writing tho he keeps it to himself he don't flaunt it to public.
He's the best writer I've ever known.

Well as to me? Why would I hide my one and only asset? Did I mention that I'm the editor in chief of our school paper?
Aside from that I also write literary pieces about Love of course.

We headed to the canteen and my ever supportive best friend just left me like I'm sort of piece of trash when he saw his slutty girlfriend who see me as a competitor to his boyfriend's heart. Well I love teasing her sometimes.. But on serious note tho, I really don't have any emotional interest with JK he just don't fit my version of a PERFECT BOYFRIEND

What I actually wanted to be my first and last is someone who would understand what I love.
Someone who would accept that I'm not perfect but will realize that It's ok.
Someone who sees the good in me someone who wouldn't leave me in Shattered pieces.
Someone who would heal all the wounds and scratches I got when I stumbled in the rubbles of my broken past.
Someone who would love me no matter what.
Someone who wouldn't dump me at friend zone because they found someone better.

I realize I was in tears while making my endless list of who I want to be with in the future .

I felt my heart beating in pain but I don't know why?

I mean, I always feel a little pain inside me everytime I try to recall all the memories I've forgotten.

Did I mention that I'm suffering from the aftermath of that accident transpired 3 years ago which almost killed me gladly it didn't...
Now I have an amnesia and the doctor said I will soon remember everything as long as people who knew me will keep reminding me of what I used to do...

It's arduous actually.

I can remember only a little, but it's all blurry.

My mom told me that a man brought me to the hospital but they never told me who he was and they never saw him again since that day.

I wipe my tears with the back of my hand before anyone could notice and perceive me as a drama lady inside the canteen, of course I don't want that to happen.
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..
Had a long day I must say, I lie awake in my bed when I heard my phone beep..

It's a text from an unregistered number. Who could this be? He's been texting me for the past two months but he still haven't revealed himself yet. To kill my curiosity I opened the message.

"I never understood how I something can be so powerful that it can strike both the heart and the mind"

Who could this be? What is that or who is that someone so powerful that it can strike both the heart and the mind? Whatever! I rolled my eyes... playing mysterious again, I don't like playing guessing games..
I diverted my mind and decided to write a poem for the broken people instead.

You mean broken people like you?

Oh shut up subconscious you know nothing I scolded her.

Or am I? There goes my heart again beating like crazy.

I decided to write and think of a  title.. And after what feels like eternity I come up with,

"What truly kills"

I felt a tingling pain and soon realize that it's actually my heart shattering in pieces again..
Maybe my subconscious was right maybe I still am broken that I chose to shield myself with writing love stories opposite to what I truly experienced?

My experienced that so painful that I couldn't even recall.. I massage my temple with my index finger.. My head is throbbing again..probably because of the accident before...

The question will be answered as soon as I remember every thing and that day, I will let go of the pain deep rooted inside my heart.

I made a deep sigh when I finish the poem with the last lines saying

Loving him made everything amiss
But the thought of him letting me go is what truly kills.
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End of Chapter 1

This chapter is short...I just wanted you to know the character ups and downs will be on the next chapters.

Ps. I don't own the photos I used in the cover so credits to the owner of the photo.

Lovelots,
Jclaire