No One Else Like You

(2) Hold Me And Don't Let Go

Thirteen weeks after ending my two-year-old marriage, I decided it was time to go back to work. It was going to provide a much-needed distraction. It was really hard, especially the first week because all I kept thinking was that I needed to call him and ask him how he was doing and then I did not because I thought, why isn't he the one calling? He was obviously fine and happy to finally get rid of me.

Aman Dass, my ex-husband is a really attractive man. He is tall, broad and muscular. He had a deep voice that I had fallen in love with. It wasn't his features though that I loved though but what he did with them if that makes any sense. I loved how he walked, things he said, his smile, expressions. But he was a handsome man and it wasn't going to be much difficult for him to find another woman.

I was working as an assistant manager for Magique, which was one of the most premium cosmetic brands in the country. For the last three weeks, I was working from home. It helped if your boss was also your friend.

Kartik Mehra, five years my senior had graduated with a double honours degree in Economics and Management from a well-known university in London. He was now the head of management for Magique in the country and was now also one of my closest friends these days. We had gotten to know each other before I started working for the company, so I guess that helped. Kartik hardly was the kind of man to make conversations with his colleagues, otherwise.

"Good to see you back," he winked at me as he entered my office. "How are you doing, pretty lady?"

"You should not hit on a divorced woman," I replied with a dull expression. I knew for a fact that I wasn't looking pretty. Lately, I lost interest in taking care of myself. My hair was just in a top knot and I wore zero amount of makeup. I was binge eating so I was sure I had put on weight as well.

"I hit on you when you were married, why would it change now that you are single?" He said as he took a seat. "A footballer makes goals even if there is a goalkeeper. In my case, the goalkeeper has finally gone and I can make as many goals as I want."

"Kaaaartiiik......" I went, I wasn't in the mood to deal with his flirting right now. It was just making me miss Aman more.

He laughed to himself and put a Toblerone bar on my desk as he left. I started feeling a bit nauseous and decided to go out for some air. Looks like, the divorce had gotten me so bad that I was sick all the time.

Aman and I had many differences. We tried to fit into each other's lives but we couldn't. He did not even fight for me. He signed the papers, after all, didn't he? He knew how afraid I was of losing him but was he afraid he could lose me? No. He knows how much I love him but when it comes to him, he enjoys making me feel like the most loved person in the world to a person in doubt. Divorce was the right thing to do. I had to move on.

In some ways, I felt like I was being ridiculous but  I shut that voice in my head.

Just as I shut that voice in my head, the devil walked in himself in my office. I was seeing him after three weeks and I was full of so much anger, I could not even comprehend my own feelings. What the hell was he doing here?

He wore dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt. His hair was swept back but his eyes looked tired.
"I think your entire office is aware of our divorce," he said and took a seat. Really? Manners? I wasn't his wife anymore, what was he doing?

"You don't understand the point of the divorce, do you? What are you doing here?" I said harshly. That was how I was. Harsh outside when I was feeling something else inside. But for now and for the rest of my life, those feelings are now going to have to stay quite.

"You are being rude," he said with a smile. "My grandmother wants to see you."

"You could have called me and told me that."

"She wants to see us both together." Then he paused for a while. It looked like something was bothering him. "She is really sick and believes she is going to die soon."

My heart sank. I really loved his entire family. They were much, much different than mine. They were loud and strict. But they were fun and loving too if you become a part of them.

"So? You want us to leave now?"

"I am not forcing you but if we don't make it then she will leave for Haryana soon. It is where she says she wants to spend her last days."

"She lives in Haryana."

"So it explains why she wants to spend her last days there. Congratulations Mira! You're a genius." 

I got up from my seat and then I remembered that I hadn't come in my own car. My mother dropped me off before heading to work, which meant I had to go with Aman. I followed him outside and as we went to the parking lot, I looked for his BMW but I saw it nowhere. He immediately put on a helmet and had sat on a bike.

"Bike?" I asked.

"Yes." He smiled widely. He hadn't ridden a bike in a long time. "Come on up!"

I prayed to god ten thousand times. I am going to have to ride on a bike with him. His grandmother's place was at least 40 minutes away from here.

! No big deal. Don't be an idiot Mira. You won't see him again after this. Next time, remember to bring your own car. You never know when an ex-husband emergency can come up.

I climbed up in the back and he started the ignition. We were soon on the road.

"You can hold me, you know," he said, and looked back.

"Look in the front!" He laughed. Two minutes later he increased the speed. As I saw the speedometer we were touching almost 100.

Now, I was not the kind of woman to get scared of rats or cockroaches. BUT SPEED? Oh, yes. I just imagined my death on a two-wheeler going with high speed. The worst part? He was aware of that.

"Oh my god.." I said immediately and instinctively my arms wrapped around his waist. I was holding him close to me. "We don't have to go so fast, Aman!"

He lowered the speed and I felt like I got my life back. I was so mad at him. He knows I get scared and yet he did this. How can this man be a good husband?

Or am I overreacting..

He increased the speed again.

"AMAN!" I shouted. "Please!"

"Hold me and I will lower the speed. And.." He looked back and winked. "Don't let go."

"Never."

"Okay, baby."

105...

110...

115...

120..

I held him immediately and as tightly as I could have. He giggled and lowered the speed. I was so afraid he was going to increase it again, so I did not let go. He was not even wearing a helmet. I looked at his hair.

Silky as always. I wonder if they were as soft as the last time I touched his hair?

"Why are you sniffing just my hair? Take a whiff of my body as well."

I smacked him lightly. "I was not smelling your hair!"

"Who are you lying to? Me or you?"

Something about his odour was weird. I always felt calm when his body was near...

NO. NO SUCH THOUGHTS.

The bike raced again...

"YES, YES I WAS SNIFFING YOUR HAIR. OLD HABITS DIE HARD!" I shouted.

He laughed again.

When were we going to reach? Argh.