No One Else Like You

(19) Revelation

Every now and then I think

you might want me to come

show up at your door

but I'm just afraid that I'll be wrong

We don't talk anymore

Like we used to do

Remind me not to pour my heart out to my mother ever again. Like Aman said, he went ahead with his plan and stayed over at his cousin's place. I waited for him in the morning, well morning being five a.m because I couldn't sleep at all. I just couldn't handle the anxiety. So I did what I now regret. I went to over to my mom's. She heard the entire story and said the miraculous words that solved everything immedaitely.

"Have you been going to your therapist?"

Imagine my disappoint. I was looking for some magical words for advice that could calm my anxious heart and mind and put me of to sleep. But no.

"What does that have to do with it?" I asked irritably. I got up to make myself an early breakfast. I went towards the kitchen and my mom followed.

"Can you just answer me? And what are you looking for?" she asked me.

"Where is the penne pasta? I'm hungry,"I said. I was so irritated and my tone was probably rude.

"Step away, I will make you something," she said and sighed. She started rummaging around the kitchen for ingredients and I laid down on our living room couch. I was just staring at the ceiling, rewinding everything when twenty minutes later my mom came with a hot bowl of white sauce pasta.

I started eating like I had never eaten before. "You know Mira, I am just worried about you."

"That doesn't mean that you would send me to a therapist."

"You didn't even give her a chance."

I didn't reply and continued eating.

"I know you are a strong girl, I am not saying you are weak or mad or something. Just because you need a therapist it doesn't mean you are any less. Taking help doesn't mean you are weak Mira, it just means you are strong enough to admit you need to fix something."

"What do I need to fix?" I asked with almost tears in my eyes.

She wiped off the single tear that involuntarily escaped my eye. "Well, nothing. You are my wonderful little girl. You will always be whether married or not. But you have gone through a lot and it is time for you to take a break."

I nodded and she continued. "You were so wonderful when your father died, Mira. I saw you crying one day that's all. After that you just went around trying to cheer me and your little sister up. I knew you were hurting really bad inside, don't you think I heard the silent cries at night? I can't tell you how much I appreciate that you decided to be the strong one for me.

Or when you had your first heart break before Aman. You were depressed, talking to everyone horribly, not going to school, not eating and then one day you saw me crying and suppressed your pain again. You have always been down and then picked yourself up by yourself Mira but this time you can let go. Trust that your loved ones will take care of you. It is okay to admit that you are hurting. It is okay to cry. It is okay to be vulnerable for a little while. It doesn't mean you are weak."

She had gotten so emotional, that she managed to talk me into it. Before I knew it I was back at that eccentric doctor's office. She was kind enough to fit me in her busy schedule, even though I missed so many of her appointments.