Destroying Love

Chapter 9: Confusion

(Unedited)

Aiden (POV)

"Fuck" I scream out while punching the wall of the bus, when i hear the door shut  in the back the room where I know Isabella is in tears because of me. Me i'm the reason she's always in tears. My heart cracks just thinking about it. I'm supposed to save her from ain and i'm the one causing it dammit!

I run my fingers through my hair, Shit how could I have been so stupid or cruel to say those things to her.  I have never spoken to Isabella like that even in our worst fights, although this is the worst fight we have had.  I need to make things right, she is going to forgive me she has too, I need her.   That kiss, how the hell am i going to get that kiss out of mind, it was hot it ignited my whole entire body I kept needing to taste her.  I licked my lips to see if I can savor some her taste, but came up with nothing, and a sense of dissappoitment comes over me. I knew she liked me for a long time but I couldn't seem to retaliate those feelings towards her, I always simply saw her as a little sister, but when I said those cruel words to her and I could see her heartbreak something in my chest broke, but I wanted to hurt her like she was hurting me by telling me these things, although most of them were true, I didn't want her believing them and when she said what I already knew something inside me snapped. I felt hollow and I instantly regretted what I said because in a sense it wasn't true because I loved that she liked me, and loved the way she looked at me like I was her knight and shinning armor, but by the point she slapped me hard and told me she hated me. When she told me she hated me with so much venom, my heart shattered, her eyes burned with fire and something I never seen in her eyes directed at me and that was hate. Pure unaldertered hate, and in that moment I know I was going to loose a piece of her that belonged to me.

I begin to pace and run my fingers through my hair again. She can't hate me, I won't let her I might not be able to give her what she wants, but I am ceratintly not letting her go, she is a part of me and she is staying whether she wants to or not.  She has to forgive me. No, she will forgive me. Will she? Fuck Fuck Fuck I am first class asshole. 

Then my mind drifts of to the kiss again that fucking kiss. That kiss made me want to taste her everywhere to see if she taste the same in other places.  Like fucking vanilla.  I wanted to feel her wrapped around me when she rubbed herself againist my erection. I wanted to be inside her warmth and own her, make her scream my name while on top of her.

I shake my head I can't be having these thoughts about Isabella, not now. Not when I'm going out with Serena. God, Serena it wasn't supposed to happen I knew it would be bad for the band if we went out, but the more I started talking to her and hanging out with her, I simply didn't care and just wanted to get to know her. Before I know it we are fucking and i'm falling for her. We talk all the time and she understands me, not at the same level as Isabella but she does, she doesnt judge me when i do drugs, heck sometimes she does them with me, she parties harder then I do.  But not only that we can talk about music for hours and this are one of the main reasons I started to fall her.  She can be a bitch but I don't mind too much.  And we fuck I feel something other than just getting off, and I have never felt that before with any of the other hookups or girlfriends, but it still compared to the kiss I had with Isabella it feels like nothing.  No no no I cant think about Isabella like that I don't like her that she's my little sister thats it, I'm feeling this way because i hurt her thats all, and the kiss was because of the moment nothing more.  I like Serena a lot and I mean a lot and thats going to change.

Liar an internal voice whispers, i can't think about her like that I can't she has always been my bestfriend, I will destroy her. I already have. I didn't tell her about Serena because I didn't want to hurt her and I ended up hurting her worst by hiding it from her.