I Hate U, I Love U (Song Preference)

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"Feeling used but I'm still missing you

And I can't see the end of this

Just wanna feel your kiss against my lips

And now all this time is passing by

But I still can't seem to tell you why

It hurts me everytime I see you

Realize how much I need you

I hate you

I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to, but I can't put

nobody else above you

I hate you

I love you

I hate that I want you

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her."

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  How could I be so fucking naïve? I should've known Harry would never fall for a girl like me. It was so obvious. The way he looked at me, with his eyes as dull as an old knife.  Even when we were on "dates," he would not look at me as much as possible, as if the only reason he took me out on dates or called me his was just so he could have the media off of his back.

  Which was actually the case.

  But I loved Harry from the bottom of my heart. He was so kind to me; always trying to put me first, and telling me his deepest and darkest secrets because he trusted me.

  Whenever I had the rare chance to see him and have him just to myself, he would act like the Harry I knew when we first started dating. He was the Harry that was kind, loving, understanding, loyal, honest, determined and romantic.

  He would be the same Harry that would tell me time and time again how beautiful I was, and how much he loved to kiss me. His physical affection was always there for me, from a simple hug to a crazy and heated night.

  But that all changed. Or at least, I thought it was change.

  He broke things off with me three months ago. Three long and hard months of me being angry and upset with myself. I always had the thought in the back of my mind that I wasn't good enough for someone like Harry, but I always brushed the thought aside, believing in what Harry said.

"You will always be good enough for me, and more. You are perfect for me, and I can't imagine life without you."

  What a bunch of horse shit.

  As much as I hated Harry, deep down, I still loved him. I loved him more than anything else than this world. Even now, I yearn for him to return back to me and so we can get back together and feel his soft and addicting lips against mine.

  But I know that will only be a fantasy.

  Because now, he is taken.

  He has already moved on. Or may be, he never was "on" to start.

  I can see the way that they look at each other during interviews. It was the same way we used to look at each other.

  He loves her, and she loves him.

  Even worse, I know that they are meant to be. He needs her more than he needs me.

  I want to just find Harry, march up to him, and give him a piece of my mind by screaming and yelling; but I know I couldn't do it. Because at the same time, I wanted to pin him to the nearest wall, tell him how much he means to me, and press his lips against mine.

  Where can I go from here?

  I see his face everywhere on TV. Just seeing an image of Harry, my heart breaks in two and melts all at once. I wish he was still mine, and I am glad he isn't.

  But I don't think he was ever "mine" to begin with.

  I realize I can't live without him. He has such a big piece of my heart and soul, it almost seems impossible to do almost  anything without him being there by my side.

  I can't go on like this forever, but I sure as Hell will try. 

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Part 2??

Let me know! 😊

Love u Lovelies! U r always beautiful in my book!

Xoxoxoxo,

- Falling4_HarryStyles

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