Blank Love

Chapter 1

AVI's P.O.V

- I'm sorry, but who are you?

  Those words hit me like no fist could. Such a harmless question that hurt my soul, which was groaning in agony, disbelief,  and discord. I was broken. How? How could this happen? The woman I love, whom I shared a home with, the one who wakes up next to me in the morning, and whom I've shared countless memories - now apparently deleted -, whom I have chosen to belong for the rest of my life... does not know who I am. Does not remember me. Why... why did this happen?

  I felt tears flow from my wide opened eyes, as my hands were static in the air, with no reaction, no fluidity. She had a confused, scared, and fragile look. My heart ached to watch her like that, and to assimilate the words that had just come out of her mouth.

- Honey, you do not remember who he is? - Dr. Mary said, pulling me away with a delicate gesture to lean on my forgetful wife.

- I'm sorry... I can't... I can not remember, it's all so jumbled, I...

- Baby, is me, Avi. Your husband. Can't you recognize me? - I interrupted, gently taking her hand to show the ring on her fingers. She pressed her back onto the matress in a frightened impulse that made me collect my action and return to my place.

- Husband? I... I am married? No... that's not possible, I don't know you - she said, as tears formed in her eyes - forgive me but... I just can't remember.

  My world stopped right there.

______________________________________________

  Daniel and I were collecting the belongings from the hospital room, making sure that nothing was left behind while Alice talked to Elisa. The instant I was aware of the accident, I called them, telling what had happened and asking to alert Alice's parents, since I did not speak portuguese. My wife and her family are brazilian, but Daniel and Elisa, her older siblings, lived in Australia, where I've met Ali. Once they received my call, both of them immediately flew to LA, which was comforting to Alice, that doesn't remember anything around her.

  Two weeks ago while driving back from work, Ali was hit by a drunk driver who've lost his car's direction. As a result, my wife suffered a head trauma and remained unconscious for three days. When she woke up, the last five years had been erased from her memory... Alice thought she had just graduated from the University of Sydney, was an intern at an automobile company and share an apartment with her sister. Everything that we've lived from the very beginning, was snatched awat of her mind on the accident's impact. My wife didn't know who I was.

  We'd spent the last weeks trying to stimulate her memories, instincts and senses. Apparently, the shock decreased Ali's ability to maintain focus through multiple conversations; little noises and loud movements frightened her, and she felt fragile. Fortunately, this was a simple injury, and Alice had already shown improvements. It was a matter of social adaptation, and it would be fine soon. I spent hours talking to her, trying to bring up some memories of our relationship: photos, videos, conversations... nothing reminded her of me, and she was constantly uncomfortable when I approached her. Like a timid little kid.

  It all have happened very fast and I couldn't assimilate things very well. I was exhausted from the shock of the news, which caught me off guard at the end of Pentatonix's tour. Everyone was understanding when I took the first flight home, and showed consistent support during these weeks. The band, which was basically the social group that surrounded us, was not familiar to Alice: once best friends, they were now only faces, not smeared or blurred, but completely erased, blank. As mine.

  Elisa and Daniel had jobs they couldn't leave behind, and in Dan's case, a wife and son. There was no possibility for them to stay longer in the U.S., and they had already booked flights back to Australia. I could feel the fear take care of me since I was a stranger to Ali, and all she had - at least she thought she had - was beside her siblings.