Blank Love

Chapter 5

  The morning was very quiet. I woke up around 9am, when Avi was already up and we took breakfast between quick conversations and comments. At the weekend, we were going to the beach with the other band members, and I was nervous, anxious. Well, I'm not a big fan of oceans, since the brazilian state where I was born is not on the coast, but is recognized by the beautiful mountains, fresh vegetation and amazing waterfalls, all of them crystal clear and cold water. Not that my distaste for the sea was huge, or even the reason for my concern to spend the day in the sand, but the fear came from meeting Pentatonix and chat with them with ease. And knowing that my sister husband would be there, also not reassured me.

  I was tidying up the room while Avi heard some auditions of Acapella Academy - professional project of which he was devoting the time and seemed very excited. He inaugurated it probably while we met, and It was already its forth year - when I realized I was missing many basic things at home, and there was obviously a long time since we did purchases. Probably, since way before the accident.

- Avi? - I whispered as I approached the couch. He was serious and focused on the notebook, so it took a few seconds until lifted his head and turned to me.

- Yes ?

- We need to go shopping. There is a lack many things in the apartment.

  He frowned, showing a little resistance like a child who didn’t want to stop playing, making me smile involuntarily.

- Is it so urgent or important? - He was reluctant, bending his head. I laced my fingers and gave him a ‘I’m sorry’ look.

- The toilet paper just ended - I bit my lips, and he made an 'o' with his mouth. It was cute.

- Okay, we need to go - He said rushing to get off the couch, and I laughed .

  In a few moments we were in the car on the way to the supermarket. Avi put a nice playlist for the journey, and we stayed talking a bit about musical tastes. I wasn’t surprised to discover that we had much in common in the musical world.

  When we got to the store I began to feel a certain fear. I didn’t know what it was, but I felt my heart beat stronger and a slight headache arise while he parked the car. Listen to excess conversations, observe the movement of people... all that was bothering me a lot. I must have taken a very tense posture when Avi ended the match, because I felt his gaze on me.

- I know. We hate shopping - he said with a look of acceptance. I smiled nervously, alternating glances between him and the door of the establishment.

- Oh, great. So you hate supermarkets too?

  He smiled as he got rid of the belt, and when he realized that I remained without action, did the same for me.

- Yes... together, we are a mess - he took the key from the ignition, and gave me a look between smiles. - Ready?

  I prayed.

- God help us - I hissed and he laughed at my fear. I would like to say that the problem was just that.

  We got off the car and walked side by side toward the entrance. At each step, my heart quickened more and my pain intensified, pounding in my head. I ended up going slightly backwards while trying to control what he was feeling, and Avi couldn’t see my reaction. Gradually, I followed up with him, and we entered.

  I was never good at estimates, but should have more than 500 people there. The space was big, but it was closed, and seemed to decrease as the clusters of people get bumped from screaming, gossip, chatter and voices echoing. The noise of the check in the boxes, carts colliding into each other, the bags... everything seemed to shuffle my view and my head was about to explode. I hid my face in hands and felt my body tremble in nervousness. Before that I probably grabbed Avi’s shirt because he turned me into a desperate impulse and put his hands on my face.