*Letter

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LETTER

SUMMARY - When Kim Mingyu is totally honest about what he thinks of his Wonwoo-hyung.

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To my beloved Wonwoo-hyung,

Now that I'm writing this letter, I don't know what to say to you. When I thought about writing this letter, I had so much to say. 

I don't know if you know this, because I never really said so, but I love you. Not in the way that I love the other members. 

Hyung, I love it when you're thinking of me--when you send me messages in the morning or even at 3am. I love it when you look like you're not thinking about anything, but you're actually just tired. I love it when you act a little cold to everyone, because honestly, I don't have to worry about being jealous or anything. 

I know that you don't really like to express yourself, but I also love it when you do it for me. I also think that it's okay that you can't express yourself well, because I can just be the one to learn everything about you so that you don't have to--I'll just know.

This is actually harder than I thought. I don't even know how to put the words. What can I say to explain this? I feel like there's something inside of me that's just overflowing when I think of you, hyung. I'm so happy. Is it okay for me to be this happy? I feel like I'm dreaming. I don't want to wake up. How do I even tell you? I wish I could show you. Somehow, I feel like I want you to know, but I guess even I'm not good at explaining myself. 

Please hyung, just stay this way for me. Forever my Jeon Wonwoo. Forever my one and only. I promise you, I won't be able to have room for anyone else if you do.

Forever and always,

-- The one and only Kim Mingyu

P.S., Since I really couldn't explain myself, I'll leave my diary here.

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PART JEALOUSY: Diary Entry 1

Last night I had a dream about Wonwoo-hyung. I don't think I can write down what happened. I'm too embarrassed... To have a dream like that, I must really be... Well, I'm a healthy young man, I can't help it. But the Wonwoo-hyung in my dream was so cute, if he came to me like that in real life, I don't think I'll be able to handle myself. How do I hold back?

I was in such a good mood after waking up from that dream, but then I saw Wonwoo-hyung with Jun-hyung and totally forgot about the dream.

I have to admit, I was extremely jealous. I know he wasn't doing anything with Jun-hyung, but I couldn't help it. I didn't like it. He looked so happy. I wanted hyung to smile like that for me only. I guess I really am selfish. Kim Mingyu, you don't own his smile...

I'm still repenting on what happened. I was so jealous, I couldn't hold myself back. I wanted to... do things to hyung... I regret it, but I really wanted to... hurt him. I wanted to leave a mark on him, emotionally and physically... That's why I... attacked him... like that... I couldn't control myself. I lost it completely. 

I'm so sorry, hyung. I really didn't know what I was doing. It just happened and I couldn't stop. I almost didn't stop.

I wanted to punish you. I couldn't do that if I didn't stop. So I stopped, because I knew what you wanted. I didn't want to give it to you, even if I wanted it myself. 

Next time, I won't stop. I promise. Be prepared.

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PART MILK: Diary Entry 2

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