the book of laughter

Some of the Best Puns

 Why was the toilet paper rolling down the mountain?
-
To get to the bottom.

Apparently taking a day off is not something you should do when you work for a calendar company.

Why did the octopus blush?
 He’d just seen the bottom of the ocean!!!!

Why don’t teddy bears ever really eat at their picnics? 
 Because they’re already stuffed.

Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman. A good example: “I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!”

What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, it simply waved.

I never knew eggs were good for the eyes, but my cousin claims they gave him eggcelent vision.

Why did the boy peek down the toilet bowl? 
 He was trying to find Winnie the Pooh.

Toilet paper plays an important role in my life.

Why did the balloon go near the needle? 
 He wanted to be a pop star.

What did the fish say when it hit its head on a wall? 
Dam!!!

“Why is there music coming out of your printer?”
-“That will be the paper jamming again!”

I once worked in a bank, but then I lost interest.

Would you like to hear a construction joke?
 Well I’m still working on it.

A patient sobs to his doctor: “I feel like a pair of curtains!”
Doctor: “Well pull yourself together man!