I Am Human (bxb)

More Than "Just Friends"

After school, Kai drove us over to my place. We walked up the stairs to my apartment and crept inside, hoping Aunt Tracy wasn't home. We made our way to my room without being noticed and slipped our bags off our shoulders onto the carpeted floor. We crashed onto the bed together and laid out our legs, tangled and intertwined, almost sitting on each others laps. I rested my head on his shoulder and he brought one of his hands up to stoke my hair.

"I love this." Kai sighed. Music was playing from my speakers in the background and we were just cuddling, listening to the music together. 

"Mmm..." I hummed with my eyes closed in a peaceful trance, "Me too." A few seconds passed before Kai spoke again.

"If you really don't want to go to that party, you don't have to... I'm sorry if i'm forcing you to go... I..." He whispered worriedly into my ear.

"You don't have to worry, Kai." I said slightly saddened by the break in the peace. "If it makes you happy, I'd love to go."

"Thanks, Jas." He whispered, relieved. I knew that a huge worry for him was not wanting to make me do anything I wouldn't want to do. I really respected that.

"When is it again?" I asked.

"Friday I think, Do you want to come over to my place before hand?"

"Sure," I smiled, shifting into the crook of his body, he was so warm. Nuzzling closer, I pulled a blanket up all the way to my chin and sunk deep into the comforting bundle.

"Jas, It's like... crazy hot out right now! Why are you in a blanket?" Kai laughed, I could feel his chest rise and fall with every chuckle. I loved that feeling.

"Because you're so warm." I said quietly and I rocked my shoulders back and forth, inching even further into him. 

"You don't make any sense sometimes, you know." He mumbled to himself as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling the blanket up to him as well. 

We just lay there listening to my punk rock playlist, over and over again.

"Do you really have to go?" I moaned as he started to pull away from our cocoon. 

"Yes, Its already past ten now. And we have school tomorrow." He said rolling his eyes. I wished he could stay here, I with I lived with him so I could fall asleep next to him again. Every night since the party, I had dreamed of being able to fall asleep with his arms around me. All I wanted was to have Kai be the last person I saw before I fall asleep and the first person when I wake up. 

But maybe that's just wishful thinking. 

After he left I just lay alone, feeling the emptiness where Kai's body once lay beside me.

Friday morning seemed to roll around the corner, and I found myself struggling to choose an outfit. "Navy blue or Black?" I thought to myself, "Definitely black."

I pulled up my trademark black skinny jeans that were too baggy for my tiny frame and put on a black and white flannel over a Slipknot t-shirt. I styled my hair extra Myspace-like and even put on some black eyeliner (which I stole from Aunt Tracy).  I looked really good today, I felt ready for the party, and excited to see Kai. Putting the last finishing touches onto my outfit I walked out of the room and into the kitchen to see Aunt Tracy.

"Nice make-up dude." She said with a joking smile on her face. I rolled my eyes and sat at the table where she had put a piece of toast on a plate.

"I'm going out tonight." I told her as I took a huge bite from the bread.

"Really? Where?" She said surprised, It wasn't everyday that she heard those words come out of my mouth.