I Am Human (bxb)

Enough

The dinner was a disaster. After I got back from the washroom Claire asked to see me again and I said that I didn't think that was a good idea. She got really defensive and started telling me that I was just like my father, a real ass hole. Which at that point Aunt Tracy stood up, grabbed my arm and practically marched us out of the restaurant causing a huge ruckus. 

The ride home was also uncomfortable as Aunt Tracy repeatedly apologized for bringing me to meet "that unstable woman" as she put it. I had to say that it wasn't her fault over and over again which just made me frustrated and just ready to go home to my dark room. But when I arrived I realized that I had even more terrorizing thoughts in my head to constantly think about and I didn't want to be alone... I wanted Kai. I laid on my bed under the sheets and I thought of him again.

"Hey, You." Kai said cheerfully, lifting his arm up in a greeting as his tray of food from the cafeteria wobbled in his hands, almost spilling on his shoes. I laughed loudly earning a few stares from passer by's. We were sitting outside in a courtyard where there were benches, trees and picnic tables. I grabbed a bench on the side that was hidden by the side of the building and a tree. Usually people used it as a smoke pit, but last week the guys that used it got busted so I thought it would be a nice change from our stairwell. 

"What'd you get?" I asked as I took out a squished sandwich from my bag and made a gross face.

"Not what you have, that's for sure!" We both laughed as he sat down next to me. He scooted close, so our knees were touching and he looked over with his sweet, unsure smile. I smiled back and he let out a little giggle.

"What was that!?" I choked as I laughed, he was so cute, oh my god. I can't believe he just giggled, he's such a dork. 

"Nothing!" He said defensively, probably not wanting to hurt his ego. Oh, what am I kidding, this guy's such a softie, he has no ego. I laughed again and took a bite of my disfigured sandwich, again making a disgusted face.

"Jasper?" Kai asked me suddenly.

"Mughff?" I said back with a mouth full of bread.

"Would you like some of mine? I don't mind sharing." He gave a small smile and placed his tray on top of our touching legs. I swallowed the lump of bread and my heart melted. This guy was such a sweet heart, how was I so lucky to have met him?

"That's okay, thanks though." I said, not wanting to take his lunch away from him. He was a big guy, I knew he ate a lot, and If  I had a few bites, he would probably go hungry. He smiled back and before I knew it he grabbed my hand. My heart started to pound and I was worried that he would notice how sweaty I was. But instead of holding it like I thought he was going to do, he picked up half of his hamburger and  put it in my hand. 

"I don't want you to go hungry, here." His big, soft brown eyes melted my heart for the millionth time and I took a bite of his burger with a smile of thanks; our knees were still touching.

My eyes were full of water at the memory and I had stained a large spot on my blanket with salty tears. I missed him so much, I missed everything about him and I couldn't see how such a sweet, caring person would just leave like that. He just left me as soon as he had me. And all I wanted was him, all I wanted was to have him talk to me again, have him call to see if I was okay, have his arms wrap around me, have his comfort. I wanted Kai back.

But I couldn't have Kai, so the next best human was Aunt Tracy.

I walked out of my sorrowful room to the T.V where aunt Tracy was sitting on the couch eating the rest of the potato chips and watching Grey's Anatomy. I fell down next to her on the couch and grabbed the chip bag out of her hands.

"I thought you wanted to be alone." She said, still staring at the T.V screen.

"I did but then I realized that I was completely alone and didn't like that very much."

"Ahhh... Smart choice... Want some Pepsi?" I smiled and we sat together under a blanket watching Grey's Anatomy and comforting the other with our presence. 

I guess I fell asleep on the couch because when I woke up light was shining through the living room windows and I could hear the clank of dishes coming from the kitchen. I slowly removed my tired body from the sofa and slid my feet across the floor slowly making my way into the kitchen.

"Morning Jasper, how are you felling today?" Aunt Tracy said cheerfully as she placed eggs on a plate at the table. "Want some breakfast?"

"I'm alive." I said as I sat down next to her place. She grabbed a plate from the cupboard and set it in front of me, sliding delicious looking eggs and hash browns  onto it.

"Thanks." I mumbled as I took a bite, moaning at the taste.

"Any good?" She said laughing at me as she sat down.

"Nope." I said popping the 'P'.

We sat and ate our breakfast in silence for a while until she had finished and started to speak.

"So what are you going to do?" I looked at her puzzled, wondering what she meant. Was she talking about Claire? Or bout Kai? About Prom and my graduation that was coming up?

"About...?"

"About Kai." She said seriously.

"I don't know what to do." I said looking down at my food, suddenly my appetite left and I still had about half a plate of food to eat.

"You should talk to him." I nodded.

"I know, but the last time we spoke he was pretty eager to get away, I don't know if he wants to talk to me."

"But do you want to talk to him?" she asked me, with an all knowing gaze. I nodded again. "Then do it. You're only going to regret it Jasper."

"I know." My heart ached as I thought about the last time we talked, how he told me that I was preventing him from getting better, and that he couldn't stand to be around me anymore. 

All of a sudden my sadness turned to anger, as I thought about how he just left me like that. He knew I was in no state to be left alone, yet he still walked out that door, right in front of my eyes.

"I've got to go." I said as I stood up from the table abruptly. It seemed to have startled Aunt Tracy as her face looked confused.

"Where? It's Sunday." She said. I nodded for the millionth time and walked into my room to get ready.

I was going to see Kai.