Turn Away (A Hollstein Fic)

"Know That I Will Never Marry."

Carmilla's POV:

The scene played out so quickly. I rushed Laura to the hospital Lafontaine told me would be able to care for her and they immediately hooked her up to IVs, strapped a nasal cannula to her nose and started the blood tests leaving me to worry about her from behind the emergency room doors. When they made her stable enough she was sent by plane back to our city where Lafontaine was ready to take control. They allowed me to fly with her, but I had very little access to her. No amount of money was enough to bribe my way into her room. I wanted to touch her. Just a simple graze of her skin. The last I got to touch her, she was limp and barley breathing. I wanted her life filled touch. They assured me she was breathing but stabilizing her was the difficult part. They didn't have the proper medications so rushing her back to Laf was our only hope.

Lafontaine didn't allow me in the room when trying to stabilize her, but they promised to allow me in after. They knew what she meant to me, all my plans, regardless if I was family. Mark showed up a few moments after we had arrived and immediately ran to me asking what happened. I was speechless. How was I suppose to explain Laura walking out of the bathroom with blood in her mouth collapsing into me. It wasn't an image even I wanted to remember.

I somehow found it in me to explain that I had no idea what was wrong, I just knew she was alive. I refrained from bringing the image back in my mind by distracting myself with my hands. It was always Laura's nervous habit but I guess I caught on. It was comforting. The thought of hers in mine would be more comforting but running my fingertips over my veins brought me some sort of relaxation.

Lafontaine finally entered the waiting room after what seemed like hours. Both Mark and I stood up immediately and went to talk to them.

They raise their hands motioning us to stop. I could hear Mark holding his breath waiting for Laf to speak.
"She's okay."
We both sigh and look at each other.
"But.."

"But? But what? No no no. There shouldn't be a 'but', Laf why is there a but?! " Mark says in a frightened tone. He was babbling in fear. I place my hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him and he quiets down. I release his shoulder and look at Lafontaine nodding for them to continue. Their face was strained and their hands were shaky.

"Carmilla.. Mark.." they look at us one after the other and stay silent.

It was frightening. I needed to know what was happening. I couldn't take this so I decided to press them to continue.
"Lafontaine."

"Laura.. she" they look down and my heart felt heavy.
"We ran some tests and.. we believe that even with chemotherapy treatment, Laura has hit the chronic stage of Leukemia.."

They couldn't be serious..

"No." I say feeling my heart hit the floor. My muscles felt weak and my mind ran blank. A sad image of Laura's collapsing body replaying in my head as if my thoughts were banging against my skull telling me the signs were there but I still I chose to deny them. My own denial wasn't enough to make me feel like everything was going to be okay.
"She's okay. She was okay, she's got to be okay!" I say angrily now. Mark tries to calm me down but I walk away from him and start pacing the room back and forward.

"Carmilla we're doing all we can. We see no signs of her getting any better. We're going to continue her medications if expenses are okay with doing so. I'm pitching in for it" They look at mark but before he could speak I interrupt.

"I'll take care of expenses, You take care of her, you hear me?" My voice was angered and Lafontaine didn't seem unfamiliar to it so they nod. Mark looked deeply sad but whispered a "Thank you" to me. I turn back to Laf.
"Can I see her now?" My tone became more gentle but still had a sense of roughness to it. I didn't need them to see me break.