The Lost Asgardian (Loki)

Entry 6)Family Reunion

"Don't you forget about me" by Leelou
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Ava James' Guide To Losing Your Mind
1) Notice things
2)Notice things that no one else does
3)Notice everything. Too Much. All the time, nonstop.
4)Sense the severe strangeness in things
5)But don't feel them
6)Feel positively alone
7)But never actually be alone

He's following me. Can he do that? Really, can he? Can a figment of my imagination follow me? Can my mind actually invent the impossibly beautiful man from my dreams and nightmares to follow me?
Yes.
No.
Yes.
No.
Maybe...?
Who the heck am I fooling? YES.
That shouldn't happen. That shouldn't be real. Yet, as my very long day progressed, that was exactly what happened. My hallucinations were at an all-time high, propelling me to momentarily consider calling my mother and requesting she pick me up from work. What made me think against that is wondering why to even bother. What would she do? Cast me more pitying stares before recommending more therapy? It's obvious therapy is a lost cause. I'm so far down the rabbit hole I could give the mad hatter a run for his tea and money.

The worst part was seeing Loki in places that he didn't belong, and yet, places that were normal. In the middle of the street watching me cross a road. Outside the bookstore looking in as I stacked shelves. Right behind me as I quietly ate a Caesar salad during my lunch break. The very worst part was when Mrs. Wilkinson clocked out for the night and left me and another girl in charge. I retreated to the staff bathroom to wash my face, and there he was, standing nonchalantly in the corner, simply watching me. He watched me as if this was something as common as breathing. I looked at my face in the mirror, noting my ponytail was sloppy and my eyes looked like they had circles under them. I shuddered a breath as I held onto the small standard sink of the bathroom, willing my sanity to come into check.
Mythology isn't real.


Vampires, werewolves, gods, monsters—those are the things that belong in books and films like Teen Wolf or Supernatural. All those sappy supernatural romance shows. I wasn't aware when I started crying. All I knew was that my eyes welled with tears, and suddenly, I was near bawling as I shuddered against the cold porcelain sink. Splashing an overwhelming amount of cold water against my face did nothing. It didn't wake me up, and it didn't take away the fact that Loki was idly nearby, watching me lose my mind.
Suddenly, he was right behind me, his broad torso pressed against my back as he leaned over my head. No amount of closing my eyes and reopening them woke me up. Nothing made me snap out of this hallucination, which only made things worse. "What is your mewling for, Sigyn...?" Loki purred maliciously, a cool finger sliding around my neck to tilt my chin up. "Do you hold regret?"


"J-just insanity," I answered quietly, trembling.
"Insanity?" Loki asked, smiling wickedly. I could feel him. I could feel the way his cool body pressed against my back. I could feel his fingertips digging into my shoulders with just the tiniest bit of pressure as he held me. His grip wasn't painful, but I could guarantee he was going to leave marks. All I could do was watch myself in the mirror and try to focus on the things I knew that were part of reality.
Skies were blue.
Grass was green.
Snow was white.
My favorite food is garlic salted bread.
I dislike caramel candy more than anything.
Imagine Dragons is someone I really want to see in concert.
Over and over, I repeated things I knew to be true, random tidbits and also facts that were important. Maybe, just maybe, playing randomness on repeat was what was needed to bring me to back to reality. But then, the illusion got worse. Loki's skin changed colors. One moment he was as pale white as someone who had never seen a shred of sunlight. The next, he was in his all-blue form simply watching me watch myself in the mirror. "If tis not myself you fear, what is it that has you so very broken...?"

A sad smile played across my lips as his grip gently tightened on my shoulders. I could feel his icy-cold touch. "You're not really here."
This answer caused a glorious smirk to take residence on his lips. He leaned down, his blue head leveling itself lower at my ear. "You did not realize I would track you down to the ends of the earth to seek retribution?" It was my quizzical stare in the mirror that had Loki near growling next. "You. Ruined. My. Existence. At least have the decency to realize what you did.''
"Get out of my head," I muttered, closing my eyes and trying hard not to think of anything. My list wasn't helping. Neither was thinking of anything in my life. No bad TV, no music, and not even thoughts of my psychiatrist could save me from my own mind. That was the wrong thing to say on my part. The hallucination got much worse.


Loki roughly grabbed ahold of my throat and forced me to watch myself in the mirror. "Beg," he murmured, his haunting orange eyes glowing with intensity. His cold fingers tightened, momentarily making me believe I couldn't breathe. "Beg me to spare you. Drop this act of innocence and grovel for your pitiful life..."
"Why are you doing this?" This was confusing. Why do I dream of a Loki who is all hearts and roses only to have a hallucination where he seems scary?
"DROP THE ACT, SIGYN!" He howled with rage, once again forcing me to look at myself. His hand gripping my throat shook me for emphasis.
"I'm n-n-not acting! One moment you're in my head and a total sweetheart and the next you're coming at me like..." I paused, realizing something incredibly stupid. He's referring to me as a different name entirely. "My name is Ava! I'm not Sigyn-"
"STOP YOUR ACTING!"
All I could do was gape wildly at the reflections of us in the mirror. I couldn't rationalize what it was that had him so irate. "I'm n-not..."

It was my trembling that had the aggravated look on him slowly starting to fade. After a heavy moment of silence, Loki watched me with suspicious eyes. "You are not gaming me, are you?" He said nothing more as his hand recoiled from my throat. I didn't even realize I had been attempting to pull away before the give and take pull between us broke. Once he released me, I fell backwards on my bottom. "Your heartbeat does not falter," he stated, watching me incredulously. "Why does it not falter?"

What the heck was he expecting from me? I didn't know what he was rambling about. Frankly, I didn't care either. All I could really do was rock back and forth in a ball while trying hard to will the sanity in like a dog on a leash who had gotten away from its owner. Here clear sanity, *whistle* here, boy.
"What is it you call yourself?" Loki finally asked, his expression unreadable.
An awkward laughter escaped me. None of this was particularly funny, but laughter seemed to be a better option than bawling stupidly. "My name is Ava," I mumbled pathetically, continuing to tremble as I looked down at the somewhat dirty floor I was sat upon. My rocking increased tempo as Loki watched me with pure disgust.

"Enough of your mewling," he finally said, his gaze saturated with disgust. "Come along." It was when I made no movement on the cold floor that he came over and roughly pulled me up by the arm. "Leave with me on your own accord, or I shall..."

I stopped listening to the rest of his threat once we were outside the bathroom. My stomach dropped as I exited. There were bodies on the floor. A man and a woman. Was one my coworker? I couldn't tell, she was mangled beyond recognition. Her face was positively horrendous, as if she had encountered a hungry cougar right there inside the bookstore. The man as well. He had large claw marks across the front of his face as a familiar monstrous animal was crouched over the man.


The ferocious black wolf that seemed monstrous in height and weight was hungrily eating the man's intestines. "Wake up...WAKE UP!" I shrieked to myself, holding my head in my hands to shake in the rationality. What the hell? This monstrous sight belongs in horror movies and MTV shows. It was watching the massive wolf slurp up an intestine like a spaghetti strand that I lost it.

 Terrified screams escaped me before I ran for the arms of the very familiar man standing nearby. Loki looked down upon me, soon cradling me against him with ease. Why did I run for the guy who five minutes ago was strangling me...? Impulse? Stupidity? The belief that he was more comforting than the grisly scene before us? Whatever the reason, Loki held onto me, gently running a cold hand through my hair as if I were a child he was trying hard to calm.
The massive wolf growled, stepping over his dead dinner to approach. I cried harder as Loki held me tighter. "Calm yourself, Fenrir. It appears Sigyn does not remember us properly."
I couldn't pay his words attention as something terrifying came forth. A woman with flowing hair as black as night appeared within the room. Her face was skeletal, no eyes were held within her sockets. She wore a long gown of flowing black, engraved with delicate designs and patterns. To complete this morbidly goth look, she carried a scythe in her skeletal hands that looked sharp enough to cut through steel. "You found her, father," the woman rasped, sounding young as if she were merely a teenager. She casually stepped over one of the bodies to head over to us.

Lokiwas the one being referred to as father.  As the woman transferredher position to watch me from a closer point, a horrid bellowing noise was nextheard. It was groaning so loud it made the walls of the bookstore tremble.Something sounded as it were slowly moving across the rooftop. The skeletonwoman smiled as she glanced upwards towards the rumbling ceiling. "Fenrir,Jormungand, myself..."she cooed, watching me closely. At least, I thinkshe was watching me. It was hard to tell given she only had empty sockets whereeyes should have been. "Father and adoptive mother as well...My, my, wehave ourselves a family reunion, do we not...?" She chuckled softly.Turning, she sliced a massive hole seemingly into empty air. But it wasn't soempty. The air she cut through seemed to be like an invisible wall that glowedgreen. With a beckoning hand, she made the massive wolf follow her.

It was seeing a large, forked tongue stick out next to the window of thebookstore followed by a massive body with scales that I lost it. My kneesbuckled as my eyes rolled back into my head. My world went black, but notbefore I felt cold arms catch me before I hit the floor.
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